Mom Who Had Her First Baby At 58 Hits Back At People Who Call Her 'Selfish' & Says It's Made Her A 'Better Mom'

An older mom showed the critics who’s boss by proving it’s never too late.

Two photographs of Carolyn Ness embracing her son Javed, once as a baby, and once as a 5-year-old. Carolyne Ness / Facebook

It is often said that it’s good to wait to have children until you are ready, but many still believe that there is a cap to the age when a person should be raising children.

According to the New York Times, parents in America are starting to have their first child later in life. The average age for a first-time mom is 26, which is five years higher than it was 50 years ago. But even these aging numbers have a limit.
It is still very uncommon to see parents having children in their late 40s or 50s, due to health risks to the mother and child, as well as simply different focus in life. The NY Times graph doesn’t even show the statistics for mothers over the age of 44. However, one mom hasn’t let that deter her.


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This single mother gave birth to her first child at 58 years old and claims that her decision has made her a better mom.

We sometimes hear people say “age is just a number”, and this first-time mom has definitely taken that advice to heart.

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Carolyne Ness is a now 64-year-old woman living in Australia who has struggled with fertility issues for much of her adult life. Ness had been married in her 30s and tried for a child during that relationship, but it wasn’t meant to be. “I discovered that I had fertility issues,” Ness told Fabulous in an interview, “but by the time we got round to thinking about doing IVF our relationship had really broken down and we just didn’t want to bring a child into that.”

She ended up divorcing her husband at the time, and moving on with her life. Over the years, she found herself in several different relationships, but none of them ever felt right to raise a child with. So, she came to terms with a child-free life, all the way up until right before her 58th birthday, when she learned about a process called embryo adoption that would allow her to carry and deliver a child through a similar process to IVF.

Embryo adoption is, according to Considering Adoption: “a form of adoption that allows the adoptive mother to carry her genetically unrelated child and experience pregnancy and delivery. Rather than adopting an infant that is already born, adoptive parents begin the process nine months earlier by adopting a frozen embryo donated by a couple who has been through in vitro fertilization."

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Ness was intrigued by the process, and the possibility it had to change her life, but there was one hangup: the age limit for embryo adoption in Australia was 55. Looking further, she discovered that the age limit was higher in India, at 58, an age that she was rapidly approaching.

“It was now or never,” Ness recounted. “And I knew I would regret it if I didn’t try.”

She made the trip and received the treatment right before her 58th birthday, at the upper limit of the restriction. Not wanting to get her hopes up after so many years of disappointment, Ness tried to treat the trip like a vacation and spent much of her time in India traveling and sightseeing. When she returned home to Australia, however, it was confirmed. She was going to have a child.

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In November of 2017, she gave birth to a healthy boy named Javed. Ness was overjoyed.

It wasn’t a perfectly easy road for her at first. Being a single mother presented its own difficulties, especially without a support system. “I don't have family here. I've got friends but Australia is such a huge place that they don't really live near me.”

Nevertheless, as the years have gone by, Javed has grown happily and is now five years old. He doesn’t pay much attention to his mother’s age, even when other moms do, and Ness is confident that she has nothing to be ashamed of.

Even when critics call her “selfish” for her choice to have Javed so late in life, Ness is unswayed. “I’ve got far more patience now than I might have had when I was younger,” she said. “You develop maturity and I think without that I might have struggled a lot more as a younger mum.”

Her choice to wait has allowed her the time she needed to grow and feel ready for this step in her life, and Ness has no regrets.


“I can’t imagine missing out on this incredible life I have to share, and I have at least a good 20 years left in me to do so. It was the best decision I ever made.”

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Hawthorn Martin is a news and entertainment writer living in Texas. They focus on social justice, pop culture, and human interest stories.