A 4-Year-Old Girl Asked Her Mom Not To Invite A 'Bully' To Her Birthday Party — But The Mom Thinks That's 'Cruel'

The little girl is adamant about not inviting her school bully but her mother thinks everyone in her class should be invited.

children laying on floor while at a birthday party, worried mom comforting young daughter Ivan Samkov from Pexels via CanvaPro / fizkes / Shutterstock

Usually, when parents are throwing their children's birthday parties, everyone from their child's school class is expected to receive an invitation.

However, one little girl is vehemently against inviting a specific person from her class to her birthday party and her mother isn't too sure what to do about it. Posting to the subreddit "r/AmItheA--hole" (AITA) — an online forum where users try to figure out if they were wrong or not in an argument or situation that has been bothering them — she urged people to help her out.


She thinks it would be 'cruel' not to invite her daughter's school bully to her birthday party.

In her Reddit post, the mom explained that her 4-year-old daughter has recently finished her first year in school, which has been a huge accomplishment in their household. To commemorate the end of school, as well as her upcoming birthday during the break, the young girl wanted to have a party.

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"She wants to have a party and invite everyone," she wrote. "This is big for her because she's always been a super shy and anxious child. We talked about how we should include everyone so no one gets upset and she thought that was a great idea."


However, there was one kid in her daughter's class that the 4-year-old refused to invite. Understandably so, considering that the kid in question was someone that relentlessly bullied her. 

According to the little girl's mother, the boy would constantly call her daughter names and is even disliked by other children in the class as he would pick on them too. While she doesn't want to force her child to invite someone to her party that she clearly doesn't like and is mean to her, she is also conflicted about him being the only kid not invited.

"It feels cruel to invite the whole class except one kid," she insisted. "We did speak about how sometimes someone hasn't [learned] to be nice yet and that although we do not have to put up [with] mean [behavior] it is good to show kindness."

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Photo: Reddit

Despite her mother's insistence, the little girl is adamant that her school bully not be in attendance at her party, and her mom acknowledged that she can't quite blame her for that. She also doesn't want to send the message that it's fine to let someone bully her.

"My partner thinks we should exclude him. Would we be a-holes if we did?" she inquired.


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In the comments section, people offered the mother some advice.

One Reddit user suggested that she speak with the little boy's parents and the teacher before making a decision. "Just be honest, also ask the teacher if they have noticed the bullying behaviors. Say your daughter would like to have a party with everyone but their son has made her uncomfortable with how he acts with her and possibly the other children."

"Nobody wants to hurt his feelings but the other children also do not need to be subjected to it if it’s hurtful or negative. Make your decision based on their reactions."

Another user chimed in, writing that they were against the mother inviting her daughter's bully. "Do not force her to invite someone that treats her poorly. I would contact the parents at some point and let them know of their child’s behavior and leave it to them to correct it."


"I would exclude the bully. Your daughter deserves to have a party without being bullied. If the bully has hurt feelings then hopefully it will cause him to change his behavior," a third Reddit user chimed in.

At the end of the day, it's essential to prioritize the well-being and comfort of the 4-year-old whose birthday it is, considering it's her day after all. Even though it is just a party, parents, caregivers, and educators must support and validate the child's concerns and decisions regarding any social interactions.

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Nia Tipton is a Brooklyn-based entertainment, news, and lifestyle writer whose work delves into modern-day issues and experiences.