Photo: TikTok.
A choice no parent should have to make.
By Alexandra Blogier — Written on Jan 31, 2023
Women have been giving birth since humans first inhabited this planet but even still childbirth is a high-risk procedure that has a chance of going wrong.
While no parent wants to face having to decide between their own life and their child's, in some cases that is a choice doctors will have to make.
So, when one mom on TikTok discussed a hypothetical scenario in which such a choice would have to be made, viewers were surprised by her response.
TikTok user Shelbie Lenora posted a video saying that she’d ask doctors to save her instead of her baby.
“If during birth you have to choose to save me or the baby, save me,” Shelbie Lenora posted.
Lenora is a medium and reiki healer who shares content related to her spirituality on TikTok but first and foremost, Lenora is a mom of kids who need her to survive.
“I have babies at home that need me,” the video continued, by way of explanation.
The video’s caption stated “and my husband agrees.”
Shelbie Lenora used the hashtags #momsoftiktok, #saveme, and #witch.
The post has over 143,000 likes, but commenters were divided.
One user replied directly to Lenora, saying “you’re the first person I’ve seen do this that didn’t say ‘save the baby.’ I agree with you completely.”
Lenora responded, saying “moms that get it… get it.”
Another commenter agreed, saying “my mom passed when I was born. No kid should grow up not knowing the person that gave them life.”
“I think the ‘save the baby’ is a societal response to where mothers are supposed to put themselves last over their kids,” noted another user.
Other users had different opinions.
“People say this but losing a baby and then living after it is the hardest ever,” said another commenter. “I’d rather die than go through that again.”
“I have 4 kids at home and I’m 26 weeks pregnant; I would literally give my last breath for my kids, if it ever happened, save my baby, I couldn’t go on,” said a different user.
“I said the same thing,” said one user who also agreed with Shelbia Lenora. “We can have another baby but our families or children won’t get another me.”
Another user went through a similar conversation with her partner, saying “As someone who suffered a very high-risk 2nd pregnancy this was a conversation my husband and I had to have.”
She went on to say “we agreed my daughter at home needed to grow up having her mom.”
Moms understood that the topic was complicated and nuanced.
“My answer was different before I had a baby,” said another commenter. “Now I have a baby at home who needs me.”
“Thank you for being the person that gets it,” one commenter praised Lenora for her opinion.
For a wealthy country, the United States has a sky-high maternal mortality rate.
A study gathered by the Commonwealth Fund found that U.S. birthing people have the highest rate of avoidable deaths, coming in at 198 deaths per 100,000 birthing people.
In a country with massive wealth and medical resources, no parent should ever have to make this heartwrenching decision.
Alexandra Blogier is a writer on YourTango's news and entertainment team. She covers celebrity gossip, pop culture analysis and all things to do with the entertainment industry.