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‘I Don’t Love My Wife’ — Man Seeks Advice After Realizing He Has Been In A Loveless Marriage For 8 Years

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Couple talking over a coffee

Marriage is one hell of a commitment — probably the biggest commitment of your life that involves another person aside from having a child.

You’re spending the rest of your life with one person so they better be the right person, otherwise, you’ll end up on Reddit posting about your loveless marriage for internet strangers to see and try and give you advice.

Like this man who admits to not loving his wife to whom he has been married for eight years.

On the subreddit “r/TrueOffMyChest,” people are allowed to rant and talk about their feelings in an open space where they will be accepted and given advice or reassuring comments.

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“Like the title says, I don’t love my wife,” reads the post on Reddit. “At least not in a romantic way, and I’m not sure that I ever have. We’ve been married for 8 years, together for 10, and have a son together.”

He admits that what they have can be simply put as a domestic partnership.

“That’s not to say that what we have is bad or anything, there’s just zero attraction between us,” he admits. “We have a great friendship, and I’d even go as far as to say that we make a great parental team.”

It’s interesting that they both share a child together but have no attraction between them, so perhaps at one point he thought he loved her and was attracted to her, but those feelings went away over time.

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“I’ll often come across women in my day-to-day life with whom I seem to have a much better and more honest connection,” he says. “I turn my back on these people because I don’t want to make any mistakes that would jeopardize my family or myself.”

As if to further prove his understanding of his relationship with his wife, he sees other women in his life as more suitable romantic partners than his wife but doesn’t want to jeopardize their family.

He also explains that his family treats his wife as their own daughter, which he thinks might be part of the reason why his wife does not want to end their “sexless, loveless existence.”

“I suppose it’d be tough for a person estranged from their own family to let that sort of thing go,” he says.

The post blew up on the “r/TrueOffMyChest” subreddit, receiving over eight thousand upvotes and over one thousand comments.

A lot of the comments asked some of the same questions like “Why did you marry her?” or “Are you just lusting after other women?”

To these, he responded.

“I always knew she was a good person… and we are and always have been good friends,” he admitted. “As a young man, I confused these feelings with love. Truth is, I feel the same way about a lot of people. [That] doesn’t mean I should have married any one of them.”

As for the lusting, he defends himself by saying he just wants a genuine connection with another woman.

“I have a hard time connecting on a personal level with my wife these days,” he said. “And the longer we’re together, the harder it becomes. I just want to connect with somebody. Nothing more.”

Aside from these comments, a lot of people tried offering him advice on how to shake things up, maybe add a little bit of excitement to get him through the days without worrying about whether or not he loves his wife.

Some people sympathized with the man, claiming that they were or had been in similar situations and that sometimes things just end up that way regardless of what you try to do.

Others unlocked a new fear of meeting someone and getting married to them only to end up in a loveless marriage down the road while they’re still attracted to their life partner.

Whatever the case, it seems like he understands what comes next for his life, adding in an edit “Now I just have to figure out what’s truly important to me.”

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Isaac Serna-Diez is a writer who focuses on entertainment and news, social justice, and politics. Follow him on Twitter here.

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