Photo: Anastasia Shuraeva / Pexels / Martin Novak / Shutterstock / TikTok
Living at home with your parents as an adult doesn't mean you can't succeed.
By Nia Tipton — Written on May 29, 2023
For many young adults, turning 18 signifies the beginning of adulthood. With that, comes their desire to move out of their parent's house and be completely independent.
While some 18-year-olds may choose to leave home for college, employment opportunities, or personal independence, others may opt to continue living with their parents for various reasons, such as financial support or cultural norms. However, the people who continue living at home are often seen as being "less" of an adult, when in reality, moving out just means more bills to pay.
Moving out at 18 is considered a psychological operation to convince young adults to have to pay more rent.
The topic was brought up in a tweet written by Attachment Specialist Adam Lane Smith, who argued that the mantra of children at 18 should not be living at home with their parents is a custom primarily used in Western civilization to get more young people to pay rent and bills.
Photo: Twitter
"Reminder that 'your kids should leave home at 18' is a psyop by the central banks to make 10 [extended] family members pay 10 rents/mortgages, 10 sets of utilities, 10 car payments, and 10 of every item needed for a home, plus entertainment and stress relief to cope with being alone," Smith wrote.
He asserted that in the United States, parents will often tell their children aged 18 to 22 that it's "time for you to be alone" and that they will only learn true responsibility if they move out and get their own place. However, as soon as their parents retire and need help, their children are expected to move back home, which is an unhealthy retribution.
Smith's tweet, which was shared on TikTok, garnered many reactions from people, who agreed that moving out at such a young age from your parent's house isn't seen as an accomplishment but merely the start of a burden when it comes to paying rent and other bills that wouldn't have to be a worry if young adults didn't view staying at home such a ludicrous idea.
"My daughter is moving back in and saving $2,000 per month," one TikTok user shared. "Rent is out of control."
Another user added, "Back in the day, homes regularly had three generations living there. No daycare expenses, etc... We've come so far."
"I'm 30 still at home. I've helped my dad afford to fix things and replace broken appliances. Now he only has to work one job not two at almost 60 years old," a third user pointed out, while a fourth user inquired, "How much of our expectations in life are just capitalism enablers?"
In European countries, young adults are more likely to live at home with their parents.
The cultural significance of kids leaving home at the age of 18 can vary across different societies and cultures. According to the Pew Research Center, in 24 of the 29 European countries studied, more than one in three adults ages 18 to 34 lived in their parent’s homes in 2021.
The constant shaming of adults who choose to stay at home with their parents ties back into the idea of the "American Dream." Anyone who wants to succeed in this country must work tirelessly, day in and day out to be able to provide for themselves and detach from the less attractive belief of having to live with their parents.
However, that is not the dream anymore. With the average American debt being $58,604 and 77% of American households having at least some type of debt, mixed in with the recent pandemic and inflation, it's becoming less and less possible for adults to afford to leave, and that's fine.
This notion that as soon as you turn 18, you need to sever all ties with your parents and leave your childhood home in order to be seen as a "real adult" is a ridiculous proposal. Adulthood isn't defined by how quickly you can buy your first home.
Outside of the United States, living with your family is considered a normal feat. It's time we reevaluate this warped Westernized idea of what "success" as an adult needs to look like.
Nia Tipton is a Brooklyn-based entertainment, news, and lifestyle writer whose work delves into modern-day issues and experiences.