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A Father Is Teaching His Son It's OK To Be Affectionate With Other Men By Asking For A Kiss — 'I Want My Son To Be Fearless'

Photo: TikTok
Father asking son for a kiss TikTok

Parenting is a skill that develops — and continues to develop — the moment you see your bright baby brought into the world. There’s no amount of parenting books, TikToks, or advice you could get from your parent friend that could prepare you for the journey that parenting will bring you on.

All most parents know is that they don’t want to be like their own parents, but not enough know what exactly that means or how to do that. One single father, however, seems to be tackling the problem of generational trauma head-on, teaching his son that it’s okay to show his affection.

He’s teaching his son that he can show affection to other men after asking for a kiss.

It is something that’s all too uncommon between men that exemplifies an all-too-common problem — the stigma behind men showing affection to and for other men is rooted in homophobia and toxic masculinity, but a man named Jay is looking to unpack all of that with the sweet video he posted online featuring his son, Kairo.

“This moment is everything to me…” Jay writes in the caption for his video, posted on May 12, 2023. “I remember like it was yesterday & I kissed my father on the cheek and he pinned me down saying only gay boys do that s--t…and told me to never kiss him again.”



The sweet video starts with Jay and his son hanging out on the sidewalk. Kairo holds a stuffed animal in his right arm and a container full of food in his left, minding his business, when his dad goes “What’s going on man? Can daddy get a kiss?”

Kairo ever-so-sweetly and without a second thought walks up to Jay and gives him a peck on the cheek, going back to business as usual after as Jay’s face lights up with a smile and he says “I love you, man.”

Gone are the days of toxic masculinity in Jay’s household as he wants to teach his son to be better. “My father had [a lot] of unpacked trauma and had this idea of masculinity that [isn't] what I’m trying to teach my son. I want my son to be fearless, [aggressive] when needed and empathetic.”

“I want him to know that his dad loves him and has his back no matter what and that vulnerability is expected and accepted in my household,” Jay continues. “Most importantly I want my son to be comfortable as a man and not feel like showing compassion to another man is seen as weak or as if he [isn't] secure in his sexual orientation.”

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People in Jay’s comments praised him for his wholesome approach.

“In case nobody told you bro I’m proud of you,” reads the top comment from another, fellow man. “You are a good man and a good father. You will doubt yourself some days because of your own trauma but never forget those facts,” reads another man’s comment.

“Didn’t see my dad cry till I was 18 leaving for the Navy. My 2 yo hugs me every time and tells me [it's] okay when I cry. We’ll change the world together,” writes a third.

Although this is a monumental moment of healing for men and the growth that comes with being a man, women shared their support as well. After all, this kind of lesson changes the way that little guy will treat everyone in the future, and not just other men.

“This new era of fatherhood is so healing to witness. So glad little guy [chose] you and has you in this life,” one woman wrote. “That caption is so inspirational and truly loving. Breaking toxic generational cycles is so hard but so rewarding,” writes another.

Jay claims that not only is this process healing for him, but he writes that it builds his son’s confidence. Men should be able to show each other love and affection if they have it. “Being a man” isn’t about being tough or being strong, it’s about being confident in who you are and how you feel.

Isaac Serna-Diez is an Assistant Editor who focuses on entertainment and news, social justice, and politics.