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This is no time for jokes.
By Nia Tipton — Written on May 16, 2022
Chris Rock recently weighed in with his thoughts on the ongoing defamation trial between Johnny Depp and Amber Heard.
During a comedy show in London, Rock seemed to side with Depp as he criticized Heard, stressing that it is important to "believe all women," before doubling down and mentioning that there is an exception.
“Believe all women… except Amber Heard,” Chris Rock said during his comedy show.
“What the f*ck is she on? She sh*t in his bed! She’s fine, but she’s not sh*tting fine. … She sh*t in his bed," he continued.
"Once you sh*t in someone’s bed you just guilty of everything. … What the f**k is going on there? And they had a relationship after that. It must be amazing p****y. … I’ve been with some crazy b**ches but goddamnit.”
“Everyone’s a victim these days,” he continued. “There are real victims in the world, they deserve to be heard, they deserve our love and compassion. But if everybody claims to be a victim, then no one hears the real victims.”
Rock's comments that Heard is a liar and that Depp is the only victim in their relationship is an opinion that many people have on the internet. Social media users are divided, either rallying behind Depp or pointing out that Heard had also endured violence from her ex-husband.
Evidence presented by Heard in both Depp's recent defamation case against her, and his previous libel case against The Sun — in which a judge ruled that Heard presented enough evidence to suggest that Depp had abused her — has been largely branded a lie by Depp's supporters.
This monolithic view of abuse is extremely detrimental to other domestic abuse survivors, and whether Rock realized it or not, his statement about believing all women, except Heard, further perpetuates a stigma that trauma is simply black-and-white, when in reality it is extremely complex.
The comments also hurt male domestic violence survivors, a category Depp may fit into. By encouraging people to antagonize, doubt and criticize anyone who alleges that someone abused them, we hurt all abuse survivors.
Heard sat on the stand, in tears, detailing horrible instances of abuse she suffered — recounting allegations that plenty of other people relate to — and people laughed about it on social media.
They accused her of sniffing cocaine, and started trending hashtags like #amberheardisaliar and #Justiceforjohnny.
Minimizing and mocking Heard's allegations are proving to other domestic abuse survivors that no one will believe them either. People will laugh at them, and accuse them of simply "putting on a performance."
Depp has been accused of hitting Heard, there is an audio recording of him telling her "I headbutted you in the f**king" forehead.
Depp threatened to kill Heard, which was proven in texts he'd sent to his friend, Paul Bettany.
These are serious accusations, moments of abuse that are now being made into running jokes for comedians to use as punchlines to their jokes.
Everyone is entitled to their own opinion on the case but we ought to be extremely careful with the language we are using to speak about Heard and Depp because at the end of the day, these kinds of statements like the one Rock made are only disparaging victims of violence.
People viewing this trial are unfairly stigmatizing abuse victims and highlighting the hypocrisy that people in domestic violence relationships need to be some kind of "perfect victim," when in reality, such a thing doesn't exist.
According to USA Today, "Victims in these cases are typically held to a high standard, needing to be virtuous to be credible. These victims typically can’t struggle with things like addiction. But it seems, in this case, Depp’s struggle with substance abuse is actually engendering sympathy.”
"We're not seeing him grilled within the same standard of being this perfect victim. And to be clear we shouldn't be using that against him, but we really don't see that with female victims."
People on social media and in mainstream media have gone to great lengths to avoid sympathizing with Heard, and therefore, other domestic abuse survivors who don't fit the mold of what enduring trauma is supposed to look like.
If you or anyone you know may be experiencing intimate partner violence, please do not hesitate to keep this list close to develop a safe exit strategy. There are also tons of free resources for individuals experiencing intimate partner violence — you are not alone.
Understanding the nuances of all the resources can be overwhelming, however, you can get started with the National Domestic Abuse Hotline any time of day by calling 1−800−799−7233.
Local organizations in your area, like Women Against Abuse in Philadelphia or Connections For Abused Women and Children in Chicago, as well as RAINN are availble to help you online or in person.
Nia Tipton is a writer living in Brooklyn. She covers pop culture, social justice issues, and trending topics. Follow her on Instagram.