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Capitol Hill Police Detain Fox Accused Of Attacking Congressman And Others

Photo: Twitter
The Capitol Hill fox

Terror on Capitol Hill. A rampant and adorable maniac has allegedly been running around screaming and biting people at the seat of the government of the United States of America.

This may be the greatest threat to congress since the January 6th insurrection.

A fox has been loose and terrorizing people on Capitol Hill.

For the last few days, a fox has been spotted periodically around capitol hill.

While onlookers may have initially marveled at the cute animal given that it was in a largely urban area, the truth is that the fox may have merely been biding its time, waiting for an opportunity to strike.

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And yesterday, Tuesday, April 5th, 2022, the fox saw its opening.

The fox allegedly bit a congressman on the back of the leg.

When Representative Ami Bera was walking through a quiet park on Capitol Hill, he likely had no idea that he was being watched. That was when the small orange predator chose to strike.

Rep. Bera said of the harrowing experience that he “felt something lunge at the back of my leg. Thought it was going to be a small dog or something. Kind of jumped and then it's like, that's not a dog. It's a fox. You know, somebody started saying, 'Hey, there's a fox attacking that guy.”

After escaping with his life, Bera went to Walter Reed hospital to receive the requisite shots to protect the congressman from any diseases that the fox might have been carrying.

The congressman was subsequently been released. It is unknown at this time if the fox used any biological agents against the congressman.

The fox did not stop at the congressman, the rampage had only just begun.

With animal control on high alert, the fox suddenly became the hunted but it would strike again before any of the officers could catch it.

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Ximena Bustillo was, by all accounts, an innocent bystander from Idaho that was simply minding her own business when she suffered the same fate as Congressman Bera.

The woman was “nipped” from behind just like the Representative had been but escaped with her life.

Finally, animal control officers managed to capture the wild beast and put an end to its wanton nipping spree.

Doctors, animal control officers, and Rep. Bera all advise that members of the public stay away from wild animals and let the professionals handle them. In the event of an interaction, you should immediately go to get checked out by a doctor and get all of the necessary shots.

It has since been reported that the fox may have bitten more people and the fox has been euthanized in order to test it for Rabies.

With the death of the fox, its motives will likely forever remain a mystery, but because the congressman that was targeted was a member of the Democratic party, it is possible that the fox was working for the Republican party or possibly some of Bera’s rivals.

Mind any foxes that you see on Capitol Hill, it may have a taste for human flesh.

Or Rabies... It may have been Rabies.

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Dan O'Reilly is a writer who covers news, politics, and social justice. Follow him on Twitter.