Research Shows Women Feel The Most Stressed When Their Husbands Are Home Doing Something Very Normal
MAYA LAB | Shutterstock Research has shown that while everyone should take time to relax from the stress of life, when husbands do it, wives find it stressful. There seems to be a specific reason why most wives feel stressed when their husbands veg out.
For many women, they're the ones in charge of most of the responsibilities, whether it's taking care of the kids or completing chores and other tasks around the house. So for them, the time to relax might be few and far between as they still have full-time jobs sprinkled in between everything else on their plates.
Women feel the most stressed when their husbands are at home relaxing.
B-D-S Piotr Marcinski | Shutterstock
A study published in the Journal of Family Psychology found that men find it easier to chill if their wives are still busy, while women prefer hands-on help. By getting help from their husbands, their stress levels improve if their husbands chip in with housework.
"Your biological adaptation to stress looks healthier when your partner has to suffer the consequences — more housework for husbands, less leisure for wives," explained lead author, Darby Saxbe. "The result shows that the way couples spend time at home — not just the way you spend time, but the way your partner spends time as well — has real implications for long-term health."
For husbands and wives, doing housework kept their cortisol levels high.
Despite significant increases in women taking over the workforce and even earning more financially compared to men, the division of household responsibilities between men and women isn't equal at all. In fact, married women still perform more housework than their spouses.
An estimated 51% of married or cohabiting couples report that the female partner takes on the primary responsibility for cleaning the house, whereas only 9% of married couples report that the male partner does.
In a study published in the Journal of Family Psychology, wives' cortisol levels were lower when husbands spent more time doing housework. For husbands, in contrast, having more leisure time was linked with healthier cortisol levels but only if their wives also spent less time in leisure.
Couples dividing up housework between each other can make the biggest difference in their relationship.
Researchers were able to measure stress hormones and daily activities among 30 Los Angeles couples who worked full-time and had at least one child. Researchers tracked the families’ activities at 10-minute intervals and sampled their saliva repeatedly over three days. They found that, on average, wives spent more of their time at home doing housework, while husbands had more leisure time.
"The quality of relationships makes a big difference in a person’s health," Saxbe said. "Dividing up your housework fairly with your partner may be as important as eating your vegetables."
Given the research and studies on the dynamics of labor between husbands and wives, it should be clear that equal support, especially from husbands, can alleviate much of the mental stress women experience.
At the end of the day, both partners should feel like they're putting in the same amount of work when it comes to chores and other household responsibilities so that they can relax and enjoy spending time together.
Nia Tipton is a staff writer with a bachelor’s degree in creative writing and journalism who covers news and lifestyle topics that focus on psychology, relationships, and the human experience.
