Woman Asks If It's Weird That She's Dating Her Former Stepbrother — 'We Were Basically Strangers'
The woman's father has been in countless relationships and she is bound to stumble across some relatives.
Ben White | Unsplash A woman is seeking advice after she shared that she is dating a man who had formerly been her stepbrother. She claimed that she and the man were “practically strangers” while they were stepsiblings, even though some of her family disagrees and are encouraging her to break up with him.
If this woman's worry gave you pause, you're not alone. The knee-jerk reaction is definitely that this is wrong. But when you take a step back and think about it ... is it? They aren't related. And as she mentioned they didn't really get to know each other while their parents were married.
The woman said that she and her former stepbrother ‘barely’ saw each other while their parents were married, and began dating long after their parents divorced.
Sharing her drama to Reddit, the woman revealed that her father is “psychotic” and has gone through endless relationships and marriages. “He has had more girlfriends than I can remember and has been married six times,” she wrote. “He gets extremely jealous, bullies them, and mentally and emotionally tortures all of his girlfriends.”
Due to her father’s behavior, the woman said none of his relationships or marriages lasted long, with his shortest lasting six months to a woman she described as “very sweet.” The woman said she always knew that their marriage would end “badly.” She wrote, “As soon as they got married my dad really let the crazy out of course.”
The woman’s former stepmother also had a son who lived in the same house as the rest of them for a year and a half. However, she and her stepbrother rarely saw each other and were “basically strangers.” She explained, “We never had a sibling relationship and BARELY saw each other. Like we saw each other in the kitchen sometimes.”
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After her stepmother divorced her father, the woman did not see her or her son again until several months later, when she ran into her former stepbrother at a bar. “I recognized him, he didn’t recognize me. Once I told him who I was he was really surprised and we caught up, talked about how weird the whole situation was, and kept in touch,” she wrote.
Oddly enough, one thing quickly led to another, and the two began a romantic relationship.
“We have been seeing each other for several months now and that is going great,” the woman shared. However, their new relationship did not sit well with everyone in the family, including the woman’s father, who insists that she break up with her boyfriend. While she admitted that she “doesn’t care” what her destructive father thinks of her relationship, she said that he's “riling up” the rest of the family to go against her decision.
The woman believes that it is unfair to end her relationship with her boyfriend simply because he was briefly her stepbrother, especially given her father’s own dating track record.
“We were basically strangers and it isn’t like we went to family trips or photos,” she wrote. “I didn’t see any of my father’s relationships like ‘family’ because I knew it would not last long even then. I see him as some guy whose mother happened to date my father.”
She noted that her father had also dated a few of her friends’ mothers and that she never considered them as her sisters. She also informed her father that if her dating a former stepbrother posed such an issue, then he should not date so many women in their area. “I am not living my life to make him happy,” the woman said of her father. After she informed him that he cannot “control” her, he followed up by sending her some “nasty” text messages.
The woman acknowledged that the situation is a “super grey area” and asked others if she was in the wrong for dating her former stepbrother and refusing to break up with him.
Most people agreed the woman was not wrong for dating her former stepbrother, noting that they never had a real sibling relationship and are in no way related.
“You're not related and you never had a sibling relationship,” one user pointed out. “The people freaking out about this are idiots and you shouldn't listen to them.”
“This isn't a super grey area. This is a ‘guy who was technically my stepbrother for one and a half years, but we saw so little of each other that he literally didn't recognize me when we ran into each other again,’” another user commented. “Sounds like he and you are both good with it. Don't let your father and other family members get in the way.”
Others criticized the woman’s father for seemingly putting her in that situation due to his own dating life. “Well, Dad if you hadn’t been married half the country wouldn’t be off limits for my dating,” one user sarcastically pointed out. “Keep the guy, drop the dad,” another user recommended.
In most cases, if we learn that someone is dating a former stepsibling, most of us would shudder and crack jokes at the idea. However, it is important in situations like this woman’s to take all of the outside factors into consideration.
Her father had been married multiple times and had been in countless relationships. It's likely that the families of the women he dated overlapped with his own. If he feels strongly about it, he can simply change his ways and get the help he needs to remain in a long-term, healthy relationship.
Megan Quinn is a writer with a bachelor's degree in English and a minor in Creative Writing. She covers news and lifestyle topics that focus on justice in the workplace, personal relationships, parenting debates, and the human experience.
