When Men Feel Most Attracted To You, According To Research

Here's how to keep the attraction alive in your marriage for years.

man and woman taking photo at a concert Zamrznuti tonovi | Shutterstock

Everyone always wonders how to keep love and lust alive after years of marriage. Is it more about going on dates? Is it about keeping things interesting in the bedroom?

Well, now we know ... and it's actually pretty simple.

This is when men feel most attracted to you, according to research. 

RELATED: 15 Ways Guys Say 'I Love You' Without Ever Saying A Word


YourTango conducted a "Happy, Healthy Marriage" survey with 104 of our marriage and relationship experts. In their expert opinion, attraction has less to do with romance, and more to do with appreciation.

Of course it does — looks fade but your partner doing acts of service for you will never go away.

Respondents were asked when people felt most attracted to their spouses, and the majority of the people, 56 percent, responded that they find their loved ones the most attractive when they make them feel needed and appreciated.

RELATED: Guys Explain What Men Really Want In A Relationship

So, what should you do in order to keep your marriage happy? The results show that all you have to do is to look for small ways in which you will make your spouse feel like you need them, and be grateful to them by always saying thank you, as well as how much you appreciate their hard work and love.


There were also other interesting results. A good 20 percent said that people feel attracted to their partner when that person is happy, pleasant, and easy-going. 16 percent said it's when their loved one is confident in their skills or accomplishments. Love is all about people showing up for each other. We just wanna know that someone's gonna be there for us, and will always be on our side. 

RELATED: 11 Sneaky Ways To Stand Out To A Guy (And Apart From Other Women)

One thing that came in dead last is probably what we would have expected to be first. Only 6 percent said they feel attracted to their spouse when he or she is acting flirty or spicy. Something like this sounds like it could mean the end of a relationship, but it's natural for long-term relationships to end up like that. It's a beautiful thing when two people can get to a point where they're completely comfortable with each other, and don't need to keep putting on a facade to attract the other. 

It looks like thanking him for fixing the sink is a whole lot more romantic than kisses, after all, kisses aren't going to unclog the drain. 


Feeling needed isn't exactly a new concept when it comes to love. People often say that men need it in order to stay invested in a relationship. It's good to know that attraction in marriage is about more than just the physical.

RELATED: Subtle Ways To See How A Man Really Feels About You

Nicole Weaver is a senior writer for Showbiz Cheat Sheet whose work has been featured in New York Magazine, Teen Vogue, and more.