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Most couples start off as soulmates only to end up as roommates.
By Evelyn and Paul Moschetta — Last updated on Jan 13, 2023
Most couples start off as soulmates who are best friends and passionate lovers.
As time passes they find that holding on to that "in love" feeling that many soulmates share is a real challenge. Some partners begin to feel more like roommates than soulmates.
How can you tell if your relationship has evolved from that of soulmates to roommates?
Here are six ways to tell where your relationship is on the roommate-to-soulmate scale
1. The passion is gone
Sex feels anything but passionate. What used to be a magical encounter is now just one more thing on a never-ending to-do list.
2. You’ve stopped playing together
Can you even remember all the fun things you used to do together? How many are still going on?
When was the last time you put everything (work, kids, the house, parents) on hold and got away just the two of you together?
3. Bickering is the new ‘normal'
Even when things are going well it feels tense and you quickly fall into being critical of one another.
4. You would rather be with friends than alone with your partner
Friends feel safe while the trust in your relationship is shaky and unreliable.
5. You’ve closed down emotionally
Sharing personal feelings is risky because whenever you let your guard down your partner blames, judges or leaves you feeling small.
6. You no longer feel like a top priority
Hobbies, friends, kids, and the dog all seem much more important to your partner than you do. You often feel invisible.
If the above convinces you that you’re in a roommate relationship, don’t despair.
Take action. All of the above can turn around dramatically with good relationship coaching.
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Evelyn and Paul Moschetta are marriage counselors who are also married to each other. They're authors of The Marriage Spirit: Finding the Passion and Joy of Soul-Centered Love, about dealing with marriage and relationships.