Love

6 Unsexy Ways To Tell If You’re Soulmates — Or Just Roommates

Photo: PeopleImages.com - Yuri A | Shutterstock
woman and man smiling at camera

Most couples start off as soulmates who are best friends and passionate lovers. 

As time passes they find that holding on to that "in love" feeling that many soulmates share is a real challenge. Some partners begin to feel more like roommates than soulmates.

How can you tell if your relationship has evolved from that of soulmates to roommates?

RELATED: 5 Signs Of Disconnection In A Relationship & How To Bring The Connection Back

Here are six ways to tell where your relationship is on the roommate-to-soulmate scale

1. The passion is gone

Sex feels anything but passionate. What used to be a magical encounter is now just one more thing on a never-ending to-do list.

2. You’ve stopped playing together

Can you even remember all the fun things you used to do together? How many are still going on?

When was the last time you put everything (work, kids, the house, parents) on hold and got away just the two of you together?

RELATED: 7 Clues You've Finally Found Your Soulmate Relationship

3. Bickering is the new ‘normal'

Even when things are going well it feels tense and you quickly fall into being critical of one another.

4. You would rather be with friends than alone with your partner

Friends feel safe while the trust in your relationship is shaky and unreliable.

RELATED: Why Passion May Fade — 4 Ways To Spark And Sustain Your Fervor

5. You’ve closed down emotionally

Sharing personal feelings is risky because whenever you let your guard down your partner blames, judges or leaves you feeling small.

6. You no longer feel like a top priority

Hobbies, friends, kids, and the dog all seem much more important to your partner than you do. You often feel invisible.

If the above convinces you that you’re in a roommate relationship, don’t despair.

Take action. All of the above can turn around dramatically with good relationship coaching.

RELATED: 11 Subtle Signs Your Partner Has Lost Feelings (And Might End Things)

Evelyn and Paul Moschetta are marriage counselors who are also married to each other. They're authors of The Marriage Spirit: Finding the Passion and Joy of Soul-Centered Love, about dealing with marriage and relationships.

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