Love

3 Traits High Value Men Look For In A Wife

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Men can be confusing. What do they even want in a wife? Are there certain personality traits or other qualities and characteristics men find attractive in other women?

You want answers, and the good news is that I’m here to give you the man’s perspective. If you want to get a boyfriend who is excited to talk about marriage with you, there are certain traits that will make you more appealing.

Here are 3 personality traits high-value men look for in a wife.

1. Receptivity

When a man is really into you and is starting to take you seriously, he wants to give to you. In fact, good men fall in love when they give. For example, he’s going to want to take you to dinner, so don't offer to split the check; instead, let him pay.

Being receptive in this context means you simply thank him and tell him how great the food was and what a wonderful choice of a restaurant he picked. A mature man doesn't need you to pay half the bill. Rather, he’s looking for a woman he can make happy and who will appreciate what he offers.

   

   

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This may seem old-fashioned to let a man pay, but a man marries a woman who has a solid self-esteem, not self-confidence. (Self-confidence is about what you do, while self-esteem is about who you are.)

Being receptive means you are comfortable and used to a man caring about how you feel, you like it, and you let him know you appreciate it when he takes care of you. It may feel counterintuitive, but this is one of the key ways a man measures your self-esteem to see if you are the kind of woman he wants as a potential wife.

He wants to make you happy, and he wants to know by your feedback if he can successfully do that. When you are receptive to his actions and are honest about how they make you feel, that's an important quality.

Being receptive doesn’t mean you're sold on him. It just means you’re willing to let him try to win you over via the ancient custom of courtship, which involves one person giving to the other.

2. Availability

If a guy asks you out and you’re not available for two weeks, he may still call you and follow up in hopes of meeting up. But if you don't make yourself available to see him within a reasonable amount of time, such as within one week, he will come to one of two conclusions: you’re too busy with your friends and career, or you’re just not into him.

   

   

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Guys are all about momentum. When they first meet you, they’re super excited and can’t wait to see you again. They may already want to make plans after your first date to go out once more. So, when you’re available to see him, you give him the green light and let him know you're excited, too.

Will he get ahead of himself and ask for too much, like wanting to see you every night? Maybe. But that’s not a problem. You want a guy who’s enthusiastic, after all. And he will find that enthusiasm very attractive.

Your job is to let him know when you're available, within reason, at a pace that works with your comfort level, and without giving him the impression that it's never going to happen. Simply put, if you're interested, let him know; if you're not, tell him so he can move on.

3. Respectfulness

If you look around, you’ll notice that men often don’t marry the hottest girl they have ever met. What a mature man wants in the women he'll marry is something you can’t see with your eyes.

If he's smart, a man marries a woman who respects him. This simply means you respect the way he lives his life, you believe in his career success, you appreciate the way he interacts with his friends and family, and his goals and aspirations in life are things you agree with.

The number one thing you can do to show a man that you respect him is asking him what he thinks about things. When he has a problem, tell him you support him and that you’re sure he'll figure it out. Ask him for his advice and opinions on a topic he’s knowledgeable about.

   

   

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A relationship-ready man is looking for a life partner. Doing this will make it clear to him that you're on his team. Getting what you want and having your way is great when you're single, but being on a team means seeing things in a different light.

It's easy to respect a man who wants to build with you, and that's what having a woman's respect does for a man — it makes him want to build with her.

If you want a man who's willing and excited to talk about marriage, recognize that these personality traits men want in a wife are receptivity, availability, and respectfulness.

Being receptive means you’re willing to follow his lead. You want to find out how he handles reality. Where does he want to take you for dinner? What does he want to do for fun? Sit back and observe so you can learn what he has to offer, if he makes your life better, and if you want him to be your boyfriend, let alone your potential husband.

Men are all about momentum. He’s going to come on strong and he’s going to want to do a lot of things right away to see if you’re available to him. As much as you can, within reason, be available. Know that, yes, you’re going to have to slow him down, and you should. Just don’t kill his enthusiasm.

You’re going to want a man you respect. A lifetime is too long to spend married to a man you’re not inspired by. At the end of the day, it really comes down to character.

Looks fade; however, a man marries wants a woman who respects him and is on his team because, in the end, lasting love is a team player game.

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James Allen Hanrahan is a dating and relationship coach for women based in Los Angeles. He's also the author of "A Life of Love" and "Dating Advice for Alpha Women."