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It starts with letting him notice you.
By James Allen Hanrahan — Last updated on Jan 14, 2023
The best way to "get" a guy to notice you is to let a guy notice you on his own.
Emotionally secure and emotionally mature people want to win you over — and they want to explore a romantic connection with you.
In order for attraction to happen, the first thing you need is simple: Be available. There has to be an opening that a man can see in order to enter your world.
They say the best relationships happen by chance, but what they don't say is these chance meetings have something in common.
They often mark the beginning of a beautiful romantic connection.
The three expert tips to get the guy you like to notice you:
1. Make smart use of unstructured time
You weren't "busy doing something." You were waiting for an event to start, standing in a line, waiting for your car, or socializing at a party.
This is the so-called coincidental meeting of two people who aren't busy.
Pro tip: If you're getting over a breakup, one of the best things to do is change up your routine. And joining a club that interests you is a good way to meet like-minded people (and potential romantic partners).
My favorite places for this to happen are classes, workshops and regularly scheduled weekly events. Take advantage of the fact that people are friendlier in group settings, and when they see you on a regular basis.
You also get to see how guys you're attracted to interact with other people.
2. Make appropriate and frequent eye contact
Eye contact for a man is like a breath of fresh air. In a busy world where no one sees you, it can be magical.
Eye contact stops time and puts you in the moment.
Take a lesson from the master flirters on the planet: babies. When they see you, they always make eye contact and keep it because they're curious about you.
Do the same with men. They won't be able to ignore it.
Many women are shy about eye contact. They tell me that when they see a guy they like, they look away because they don't want the guy to think they like him.
This is obviously counterproductive.
The key to eye contact is to simply be curious about a man when you see him, just like how curious young people approach a new, interesting topic.
Then let him approach you. If young people can do it with great success, you can too.
3. Flash your winning smile
Friendly people are approachable, and nothing says "I'm not a threat" like an open, genuine smile. It also removes the busy look from your face.
For men, a smile is a signal that you're open to conversation.
It also signals that you're happy. Men are attracted to happy women.
The most important thing is that when you smile you look approachable. Guys want to get to know you and seeing your smile is a green light.
Let him start a conversation with you. Or start one yourself, if you're feeling conversational!
A relationship is a conversation that doesn't end. When he talks to you, you're on your way to letting a guy "get" you.
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James Allen Hanrahan is a relationship expert, author, speaker, an educator of effective communication strategies for male/female relationships. He is a certified ASR educator and T.A. practitioner.