Love

20 Tiny Things That Happen When You Have A True Heart Connection With Someone

Photo: Polina Tankilevitch | Canva
Couple in love

There are a lot of considerations to think about when you're wondering about the "L"-word.

Just how do you know when you're in love with someone?

Helen Keller understood the essence of a true heart connection when she said, "The most beautiful things in the world can not be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart."

RELATED: 11 Rare Things That Happen To People Who Are In Life-Long Relationships With A True Soulmate

These days it seems that Keller’s wisdom sometimes falls on deaf ears.

Those who search for a soulmate in the age of modern love, tend to find that there are so many choices and so many ideas about what an ideal mate should look like, feel like, and act like. 

Many buy into the illusion that their destined partner in crime should meet all their wants, needs, ideals, and expectations. 

And if they don’t, then "that perfect person" that they believe they deserve and were meant to have, is only a phone swipe away.  

How do you know when you're in love with someone?

There are many privileges to living in the age of modern love; one of which is that most are free to choose who they want to be with. They are free to love and they are free to leave when things don’t work out. 

There are, however, some drawbacks to this era. The main one is, that the language of the heart, which guides that true heart connection choice, can sometimes get lost in translation.

Still, everyone on some level longs to have their heart be seen and known. They also want to see and know another’s heart too.

Most people do want that heart and mind connection with a partner because life can feel empty and meaningless without it.

So how do they find it or even know if they have it? Better yet, what exactly does it mean to have a true heart connection with someone?

The language of the heart may be lost, but it’s not forgotten.

RELATED: 8 Types Of Soul Connections Explained

Here are 20 tiny things that happen when you have a true heart connection with someone:

1. Couples with true heart-to-heart connections enjoy each other’s banter and sense of play

They love spending time together and just being themselves in each other’s company. And like the T.V. series, Seinfeld, they are masters at finding ways to make the ordinary moments in life, silly, enjoyable, and fun.

2. When a couple's hearts are emotionally connected, there’s an ease of being with each other that feels natural

They are comfortable hanging out in silence and don’t feel the need to fill it inorganically.

3. They are always curious about each other and discovering new things about each other

   

   

4. There’s a way in which people with a true heart-to-heart connection seem to be tuned into what their partner is thinking, wanting, and needing

Though people can’t be attuned 100 percent of the time, they do seem to just get each other most of the time.

5. They have deep empathy for each other as they can feel the other’s heart energy and have compassion for their partner's pain

6. They are generally on the same wavelength and know how to make each other laugh

7. They are just naturally committed to the partnership

There’s no ambivalence about their connection.

8. They support each other with their goals and dreams

They want their partner to succeed and don’t feel threatened by their success.

9. They "fight" well because they feel comfortable enough being straightforward with each other

They know how to say what they think in a loving non-critical or shaming way.

10. They repair well after they disagree, by speaking for their hurt and not from it

They say things like, "When you did X, I felt/thought Y."

RELATED: The 3 Stages Of Love — And What They Mean For Your Relationship

11. They try to understand their partner's perspective rather than prove that they are right and the other is wrong

12. They can be truthful with themselves and their partner

   

   

13. They can hear their partner’s truth or perspective without having to agree to it or automatically change their own

14. They can take feedback without personalizing the other’s point of view

15. They have a shared vision of their partnership, whether that partnership is about having a family, a business, or a later-in-life "Let’s see and explore the world" kind of partnership

16. There’s a sense of ease and lack of struggle

They don’t have to work so hard to get their partner’s attention or make them desire them. It’s just there.

17. There’s nothing toxic about it. There’s no excessive care-taking or codependency

18. There’s no abuse, physical or emotional

19. There’s no emotional blackmail ever

No, "If you loved me then you would do X." 

20. They usually have great intimacy because they're just comfortable being themselves with each other they can be uninhibited with each other

And because they are naturally curious about each other and always discovering new things about each other, the novelty that desire needs stays fresh.

Everyone longs to have a heart-to-heart connection and everyone wonders, just how do you know if you're in love with someone?

And though the language of the heart can sometimes feel like it’s in sleep mode, it can be rekindled.

It’s worth repeating the conventional wisdom that you have to have a true heart connection with yourself first to be capable of having and maintaining that type of connection with someone else.  

But when you do have a heart-to-heart connection with someone, and you recognize the aforementioned qualities in a partner, know that you have a gift.

As the saying goes, "The greatest gift that’s ever earned is to love and be loved in return."

RELATED: What True Love Means, According To A Therapist

Maura Matarese, M.A., LMHC, is a psychotherapist, speaker, and author of the book: Finding Hope in the Crisis: A Therapist’s Perspective on Love, Loss, and Courage.