4 Things People With A Strong Moral Compass Never Do On A First Date
Hiraman | Canva You can learn a lot about a person's character by paying attention to the small stuff. People with real integrity tend to show it early on, and there are certain things people with a strong moral compass just don't do on a first date.
The dating game can often be frustrating. Ideally, we’d immediately know if our date will be a good match for us. But unfortunately, that’s not the way dating works (if only!). You can't always tell who someone is from their dating profile or even from the first five minutes of conversation, but if your date has any of these behaviors, that's your sign to trust your gut and move on.
1. Have an attitude
Pay attention to how your potential match treats you on the first date. If they behave inappropriately, take heed of their actions. If someone doesn’t respect your boundaries on a first date, they’re likely showing that they’ll go for whatever they want without considering your needs.
They may also disregard your feelings if you feel uncomfortable. Additionally, you should be wary of dates whose moods change rapidly or who easily become confrontational. If they behave this way on a first date, imagine how they could act down the line.
A study in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that respectfulness predicted whether someone's partner would actually be happy in the relationship. If your date is rude to the server, brushes off your feelings, or gets snappy the second something doesn't go their way, that's who they are when they stop trying to impress you.
2. Give too much too soon
Gabriel Ponton / Unsplash+
Extremes are often a huge negative in the dating world. If you find that your companion is acting in an excessive way, you should think carefully about whether or not you are willing to deal with the consequences of their actions. Usually, if someone shares too much personal information on a first date, they could have issues processing emotions or be extremely emotionally needy. So, if your date starts rehashing childhood traumas, steer clear.
Also, proceed with caution if your date starts doling out criticism. Whether your date shares unflattering stories about their ex-partner or grumbles about the waitress, excessive criticism could be a sign that your date has an extremely controlling personality. On the opposite end of the spectrum, watch out if your date appears too eager to please. Extremely agreeable people often suffer from low self-esteem. Nobody’s perfect, but you can choose which flaws you’re willing to accept before you agree on a second date.
3. Refuse to make any decisions on their own
If your date struggles to plan out what you’ll do together, consider if you’re willing to take the reins in a relationship. Clear indecisiveness is one of the red flags that your date has low confidence. Although it may seem like someone who doesn’t voice their opinions is simply laid-back, they could actually lack self-assurance.
This, in turn, could prove problematic later in the relationship. Research has found that people who can never seem to make up their mind tend to be dealing with low self-esteem. It might not seem like a big deal when they can't pick a restaurant, but this kind of thing doesn't stay small. It usually spills into every corner of the relationship, and eventually you're the one making every single decision for both of you.
4. Have one-sided conversations
Anastasia Shuraeva / Pexels
A first date is the best opportunity for two people to get to know each other. However, if your date spends the whole evening sharing their life story, they may be self-absorbed. In contrast, if your date only asks you questions, watch out! Although your date might just feel nervous, try your best to maintain a balanced conversation so that you can both learn about each other.
If your date dodges all of your questions, it’s possible that they’re hiding some significant details from you. Their reluctance to open up could leave you wondering if they’re married or in serious financial trouble.
Obviously, you should also keep a lookout for strange body language, excuse-making, addictive behavior, or extreme rudeness. If you identify these red flags on the first date, you can avoid relationship drama or abuse in the future.
Unwritten is a website that focuses on self-care, and health and wellness topics.
