3 Subtle Signs A Woman's Best Qualities Are Scaring Men Away
Strong women are magnetic, but sometimes their best qualities secretly scare men away.
electravk | Canva You have it all, and you know it. You're smart, you're confident, and you have a great career that you worked hard for. You are a strong woman.
Don't get me wrong, that's not a bad thing. Strong men like strong women. But sometimes your strong woman energy can turn men off. It's not your strength that's a turn-off, but some of the less inviting aspects of being.
If you feel like it never works out with guys who are your equals, emotionally and intellectually, then you might not be treating them like they're equals.
3 subtle signs a woman's best qualities are scaring men away:
1. You're enthusiastic, so you dominate the conversation
You're talking fast, and you have a lot to say, and there's nothing wrong with that. But sometimes strong women talk a lot in a way that shuts down conversation for anyone but themselves.
Men also notice the tone is somewhat hard, if not abrasive, and they don't feel invited into the conversation. You can be a powerful woman without dominating a conversation.
If you want to meet a guy who is your emotional and intellectual equal, you're going to need to slow it down so he can join in.
2. You're authoritative, so you come across as controlling
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You're a strong, intelligent woman, and that's great. Men love intelligence. And as a strong woman, coming off as authoritative works at work. It puts you in a position of leadership, and people look up to you.
The challenge is not knowing when to stop putting yourself in a position of authority. When you meet a man you like, it's time to shift gears, because a strong man doesn't want a woman who is authoritative over him. He wants an equal.
You being authoritative isn't going to work in a balanced relationship, because you'll just seem controlling. And there's nothing attractive about a controlling woman, and it's only going to attract weak men.
3. You're serious, so men never see your playful side
When you're always being serious, it's a sign you're in your power. But accomplished people know that humor is the key to success. If they notice you're not laughing, they'll get a sense you're about to try to sell them on how much you know, and that's not the same as communicating or relating to the guy you're with.
Talking fast, being authoritative, and being serious are great skills for business. People will follow you, and you'll have a lot of success. When you're not at work, you need to show there is something playful about you.
Strong, good men love intelligent women. They will find you exciting and stimulating to talk to, but before you can become lovers, these strong men need to see if you can shift gears. They want to know your soft side. The side that isn't controlling and isn't trying to dominate situations, and they can be their full, powerful selves alongside you.
Once they see it, they know there's a place for them to be the men they are.
James Allen Hanrahan is a dating and relationship coach for women based in Los Angeles. He's also the author of "A Life of Love" and "Dating Advice for Alpha Women."
