Relationships That Are Pretty Much Destined To End Almost Always Show These 10 Specific Signs First
César O'neill from Pexels | Canva Pro Most relationships don't fall apart overnight. They unravel slowly until the whole thing feels like it was always heading in this direction. The hardest part is looking back and realizing the signs were there all along.
We convince ourselves that things will get better, that rough patches are normal, that love alone is enough to keep two people together. But the reality is that sometimes the cracks aren't just growing pains. While it's easy to spot them in someone else's relationship, it's a completely different story when you're the one in it, especially when you're still holding onto hope that things will turn around.
Here are the 10 specific signs that a relationship is pretty much destined to end:
1. You have not met their parents yet
You’ve known them for a long time, but you still have not been introduced to their parents. Whenever you bring it up, they tell you that they want to take things slow. Or, they tell that they are not ready for that kind of commitment yet, but they would like to keep being with you and see where things go. You might have met some of their friends, but never their family.
One of the most reliable signs a relationship will last is how much your partner pulls you into their world. When that doesn't happen, it's not only because they're 'taking things slow.' Studies show that a lack of social network integration is one of the strongest predictors that the relationship won't last, because someone who sees a future with you wants the people they love to know you exist.
2. Your best friend doesn't approve of them
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It’s never easy to have the people who matter the most to you not being able to get along. But, sometimes it’s a red flag that we often tend to ignore or underestimate. The one person who knows you best doesn’t really like them.
Oftentimes, your best friend thinks you deserve better because they don't like the way your partner has been treating you. They can see that you are not happy and that you are hurting instead of having the time of your life.
3. You feel insecure about yourself and your connection with them
You’re unsure of them. You can’t tell if they are genuine about you or not, and it’s making you anxious. You keep questioning what you mean to them and where you fit in their life. You feel like you are a secondary character in their story instead of the main one. That you are an option instead of a priority. Most of the time, you don’t know if they love you or love the attention you are giving them.
When you can't tell where you stand with someone, your brain amplifies every negative emotion you feel and makes even small irritations feel like major threats. Research tracking couples over time found that it only gets worse, because the more uncertain you feel one week, the more emotional turmoil you experience the next, creating this cycle where you're constantly second-guessing everything.
4. You’re the only one trying to make it work
You’re the one who makes plans and they are the ones canceling them. You’re the one who’s putting in an effort to make the relationship work. You’re the one who keeps in touch. You invite them out with your friends and suggest ideas for faraway dates.
You clear your schedule to see them, but they won’t make room for you in theirs. When you argue or have a fight, you’re always the one who apologizes first. You’re the only one who’s making the sacrifice, you’re the only one who’s compromising.
5. They avoid everything that is commitment-related
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They don’t like to be seen in public with you. They don’t post pictures of you together on social media. They don’t invite you to family dinners or vacations. They shy away from talking about the future with you like moving in together, having kids, or where they see themselves in five years. They almost never bring you any gifts and they always find some good excuse for not showing up to the important events in your life.
Researchers at the University of Denver found that when a partner avoids making real decisions about the relationship is one of the strongest predictors that the relationship will either stall out or fall apart. The research also found that the person doing the avoiding usually holds all the power, because the one who cares the least is the one calling the shots.
6. Your connection is more physical than emotional
Your physical connection is undeniably amazing. You have great chemistry and the attraction you have for each other keeps on becoming stronger. It seems like you get along more physically than emotionally.
They are all in when it comes to satisfying your physical needs, but when it comes to having deep conversations and dealing with real things, they shut down and push you away. They haven’t told you that they like you or even that they have strong feelings for you. They just never seem to show you that in action.
7. You’re not on the same page about the future of your relationship
Maybe you’re looking for a serious relationship and a meaningful connection. You want something that is going to last and you’re not interested in anything that is not pure or real. They’re not there yet or they are ready for a relationship, just not one with you.
They want space and you want to spend more time together. It’s almost like they’re not afraid of losing you, but they don’t completely let you go because they want to keep you as a second option in case they don’t find the perfect person they are looking for.
8. You feel like they're using you
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You feel like they only talk to you when they need something from you. It could be that they need help with something and they know that you’re the one person who’s going to really help them. It could be that they like the attention, affection, and ego boost you give them so whenever they are doubtful of themselves, they come to you for assurance.
It could be that they want to be physical with you, but aren't giving you their heart. When it feels like your partner only shows up for what they want and disappears when it’s your turn to be supported, that’s a sign something is deeply off. Dr. Marian Stansbury, a therapist, notes that if your partner signals one thing but doesn’t behave lovingly and fails to acknowledge your needs, it’s a sign you’re not being treated as an equal partner.
9. They give you mixed signals
One day you’re the one for them. And the next, you feel like you’re competing for their heart. They give you signs that you will end up together, but the timing isn’t right at the moment. They give you false hope that they are capable of giving you what you need.
They tell you all the things you need to hear, but always fail to prove them when it comes down to it. Research found that mixed signals keep you stuck in this painful loop where you get just enough hope to stay invested but never enough certainty to actually feel secure, so you end up pouring everything into someone who's giving you almost nothing back.
10. The relationship is on and off
Your relationship is absolutely far from stable. One day you’re in love and everything is magical. But, most days, it’s filled with painful silence, consistent arguments, and negative energy. You go long periods of time without talking. And one day, you’re back in each other’s lives like nothing happened. You’ve tried to make it function, but you never seem to make it happen. Perhaps, it’s not you. It’s just not the right thing for you.
You don’t have to stay in a relationship that does not meet your needs. You don’t need to lower your standards or your expectations for someone to shower you with conditional love. You don’t need to be okay with things that you are not okay with so that you don’t end up alone. And you don’t need to change your values or who you are so that someone can see your worth. If you’re in an almost relationship that makes you feel worthless and unhappy, then maybe it’s time for you to let it go.
Farah Ayaad is a writer and poet who covers self-help, relationships, and authenticity. Her work has been featured on Thought Catalog and Unwritten.
