5 Little Rules That Quietly Keep Marriages Running Smoothly, According To Experts

Marriage is work, hard work. Yet, there are simple ways to create a delightful, long-lasting relationship.

Happy couples often prioritize open and honest communication, demonstrating mutual respect, and actively investing time in shared activities. A 2021 study indicated that recognizing and acknowledging each other's individual needs can also significantly boost marital satisfaction.

Here are five little rules that quietly keep marriages running smoothly, according to experts:

1. Be kind

couple with a marriage running smoothly being kind Miljan Zivkovic / Shutterstock

If you are with a partner who has emotional skills and you feel safe with them, make simple requests for what you would like them to do, and when they do it, show your appreciation. Just like you, your partner wants to know what they do matters and be treated with love and respect.

— Marilyn Sutherland, Relationship & Communication Coach

2. Split all the chores equitably

couple with marriage that runs smoothy splitting the chores Prostock-studio / Shutterstock

Don't arbitrarily decide which ones your partner should do because of gender. Discuss it in full and volunteer for your preferred set of duties. Don't hesitate to swap chores, either.

If one likes to cook and the other would rather do repairs, go for it! I've listened to so many spouses complain that the other partner "doesn't do enough."

It turns out their partner always resented being saddled with their particular chores. You can avoid this resentment with a thoughtfully negotiated approach to keep your boat afloat and stick to your lane.

— Dr. Gloria Brame, Therapist, and Author

3. Have open and transparent communication

couple with marriage running smoothly with transparent communication simona pilolla 2 / Shutterstock

Completely open and transparent communication is a basic requirement for a delightful married life. This communication channel acts as an unseen bond, which can be strong at any time and help connect you to the relationship tightly.

— Sidhharrth S. Kumaar, Astro Numerologist

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4. Avoid name-calling

couple whose marriage is running smoothly never going to bed angry Mladen Mitrinovic / Shutterstock

One rule my husband and I have set for ourselves is to do our best not to ever go to bed angry. We try to work things through before we sleep to face the next day with a clean slate.

We avoid name-calling and saying things from a place of anger, and make an effort to take time to listen to each other's perspectives. This has made a big difference in the length of our disagreements and our daily happiness.

— Ronnie Ann Ryan, Intuitive Coach

5. Approach tough moments from a place of love

couples in marriage running smoothly in love every moment ORION PRODUCTION / Shutterstock

Ask, "Am I coming from a place of love even when I'm angry, frustrated, or disappointed?" Where there is love, there is no need for rules.

— Carolyn Hidalgo, Executive Soul Coach

When we use forethought about our daily actions and commit to doing little loving things in a marriage, it creates a delightful marital environment where resentment never has a chance to grow. Keep a good focus on being kind in every interaction so you can openly communicate.

Share the workload and responsibilities of a shared life, and you will find the conflicts easier to resolve and the love will flow freely.

Will Curtis is YourTango's expert editor. Will has over 14 years of experience as an editor covering relationships, spirituality, and human interest topics.