30 Red Flags You Should Never Ignore When You Start Dating

Is this person really worth your time?

Last updated on Jul 22, 2023

Girl Rejecting To Kiss Guy On Unsuccessful Date Walking Outside In Park. Prostock-studio | Shutterstock

Your time is valuable and your heart is worth protecting. 

With the large availability of dating advice, sites, and resources dedicated to helping us find our soulmate, we must learn how to quickly determine if the person we are currently dating is even capable of building a meaningful and lasting relationship.

Not sure if you can recognize dating red flags with someone you're seeing?

If you notice any of these warning signs showing up during the first couple of dates, it's time to say goodbye and run the other way. 


RELATED: 5 Ways To Know You're Really Ready To Date Again After A Toxic Relationship

Here are 30 red flags you should never ignore when you start dating:

1. Is he married or otherwise unavailable to commit to me?

2. Is he controlling, rude, or disrespectful toward others or me?

3. Does he react to frustration with anger, rage, and blame?

4. Does he "love bomb" me to the point of cyberstalking?

5. Does he drink too much?

6. Does he have a substance or behavior (sex, gambling) addiction that he rationalizes as "not a problem"?

7. Does he ask and talk about personal sexual habits and preferences?

8. Does he send suggestive or nude pictures and ask to reciprocate?

9. Does he initiate a first kiss by cornering me?

10. Does his behavior often change or is inconsistent?

11. Does he say he wants to be my friend first but invades personal and sexual boundaries?

12. Is he immature, impulsive, or irresponsible?

13. Is he emotionally distant, aloof, or hollow?

14. Is he always talking about his ex or exes?

15. Does he want me to make his sad life better?

RELATED: 8 ‘Green Flags’ That Let You Know Your Relationship Is Right For You


16. Is he pessimistic and negative about things that matter to me?

17. Does he lacks integrity in dealing with people, money, etc.?

18. Is he unwilling to self-examine, accept feedback, and take responsibility?

19. Does he miss dates without rescheduling in advance?

20. Does he seem too good to be true?

22. Does he often go through an emotional roller coaster with recurring or regular emotional drama?

23. Does he talk too much about himself and monopolize the conversation or act too withdrawn? 

Next, check in with how your gut instincts react to your date. ​Are any of these things true?

24. This isn’t what I really want, but I also don’t want to be alone.

25. I don’t feel proud of this person to introduce to my friends or family.

26. I want to rescue, help, improve, or change this person.

27. I’m acting more needy, clingy, or different with this person than I normally do.

28. Something about them makes me freak out or triggers panic.

29. I feel frustrated or confused with him.

30. I'm focusing on one important quality (money, sex, fun) and ignoring everything else.

31. I feel desperate.

So, what's the verdict? If none of these dating red flags are in place, that's great! Keep going out with this person if you want.

But if one are more are occurring, love yourself enough to walk away and find someone else

RELATED: 17 Grotesque Signs Of A Toxic Relationship


Jianny Adamo, LMHC, founder of Fearless Love Coaching and Counseling supports singles and couples breaking through fears and limitations to create safe and intimate marriages and relationships.