People In Their 40s And 50s Who Thrive After Divorce Do These 5 Things Sooner Than Later
Yiistocking | Shutterstock So you've been married for years, and now find yourself in your late 40s or 50s in the unexpected situation of getting a divorce. When you got married, you probably thought that this would be forever, and now you probably find yourself hurt, angry, and probably a bit stunned.
I have a couple of clients in at this age who find themselves somewhat lost, somewhat bewildered - with their dreams of a perceived “stable” future as a pipe dream. But what I tell them is that this is the start of a new chapter, a fresh start. Of course, it’s daunting; anything that feels new can feel that way. However, it doesn’t have to be that way.
A fresh start can be exciting and the opportunity to get to know yourself better, an opportunity to do all the things you didn’t get to do when you were in the relationship, and better still, an opportunity to regain your confidence and build yourself into a stronger person. As the adage says: what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.
People in their 40s and 50s who thrive after divorce do these 5 things sooner than later:
1. They look after themselves and nurture their bodies with healthy foods
Start with fresh greens along with the essential intake of proteins. Avoid sugary foods, as they will make you feel worse in the long run because they exaggerate the highs and lows you are currently feeling. Being mindful of what you eat during this phase in your life is about giving your brain the necessary fuel it needs to be able to handle the emotional weight you're carrying.
One of the most consistent findings on the link between eating patterns and mood has to do with the diet involved in the Mediterranean way of eating. A 2025 study found that the Mediterranean diet reduces depressive symptoms by 32-45%, with leafy greens being singled out as being "rich in folic acid and magnesium, which can help fight depression.
2. They get the right support around them
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Asking for help if you feel that you cannot do it on your own is not a sign of weakness; it’s a sign of courage. There are experts out there who can help you, and there are workshops out there that will give you the insights you need to make your journey of moving forward easier and smoother. Why struggle when you don’t have to?
"During and after your divorce, talk to someone you can trust. Find a friend, a family member, a therapist, or a coach who you know will give you genuine, non-judgmental feedback. You don't have to go through this alone," divorce coach Liza Caldwell recommends.
3. People in their 40s and 50s take some quiet time out for themselves
Go exercise or practice yoga, whatever gets you to move your body in a way that feels good to you. Pain gets trapped in the body, and for you to feel better, it's important to move, stretch, and breathe properly. Make sure you are breathing from your diaphragm; this will help accelerate your sense of relaxation and protect the immune system, which is essential to keep yourself healthy.
Genuine self-care involves your whole body: "We all know the steps for good self-care, but do we practice these behaviors? As human beings, we need good sleep, exercise, a healthy diet, time outdoors in nature, adventure and fun, continuous learning, and a belief in something greater than ourselves," explains psychotherapist Janet Whitney.
4. They acknowledge their emotions and don’t push them away
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Use your feelings to your advantage and see them as your friend. Struggling to not feel will just keep you struggling. When you feel angry or upset, sit with the feelings and ask them what they are here to show you. Emotions are half-truths, so listen to what they have to say and get the learning.
According to emotional intelligence expert Robin Hills, "Divorce can be a traumatic experience, but you have to allow yourself to feel the pain before it gets better." Letting yourself feel the entire weight of your emotions is what will eventually loosen its grip on your life.
5. They start doing all those things they never had time for
When you were in the relationship, think of all the things you didn't do because you either didn’t have the time or were too scared. If you are not sure what those things are, get out a piece of paper and write down all of the things that you wish you could do if time and money weren’t an option.
Let me tell you about one of my therapy clients: A few months ago, Linda, aged 48 years old, was really struggling to get over her ex as he left her for another woman. When she came to see me, she had been stuck for a good six months. She was scared and fearful that she wouldn’t meet anybody again, while being angry and resentful towards him. Her relationship had consumed her and had reduced her social life to a bare minimum; her health was suffering, and she felt really low.
However, once we started working together, she started working through her emotions and doing the things that she had put off while married. 10 sessions later, she has started dating and has expanded her social circle, while working towards becoming a coach. In short, she overcame the fear and stepped out of her comfort zone so she could springboard herself into a brighter future.
Marina Pearson is an effortless living coach, international speaker, blogger, and best-selling author of Goodbye Mr. Ex.
