People Who Are Great Catches Usually Have 2 Traits That Have Zero To Do With Looks Or Money
PeopleImages | Canva It’s hard to find a partner you can rely on, someone who makes you feel safe and happy. Modern dating is full of horror stories, yet focusing your search on two specific personality traits increases your chances of a stable, successful partnership.
People who are considered great catches usually have traits that have nothing to do with looks or money
A study in Brazil surveyed people ages 18 to 64 and asked them to rate the traits they found most attractive in potential partners. The traits included physical appearance, health, socioeconomic status, intelligence, and kindness.
What researchers discovered might surprise you: Physical attractiveness and wealth ranked lower than other key personality traits on the scale of what matters in a potential partner.
Of the 778 participants, kindness and intelligence were the most prized traits across all genders and orientations. Wealth was the least important factor in seeking romance for both men and women.
Although men tend to prioritize looks more than women, overall, physical attractiveness is still prioritized less than being a kind, thoughtful person.
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Researchers found diminishing returns for both wealth and appearance. After a certain threshold of attractiveness and income, people placed less emphasis on those traits and more on kindness and intelligence.
People prioritized different things depending on whether they were looking for a long-term partnership or a short-term one. People seeking a long-term relationship were more likely to prioritize kindness and intelligence.
Yet psychologist Joao Francisco Goes Braga Takayanagi, who led the study, noted that “working on your brains and personality seems to be your best bet” if you’re hoping to attract a partner.
He noted that “choosing a romantic partner is a very ordinary but also extremely intriguing process.” He explained that while we might know right away if we’re attracted to someone, we might not know the exact reasons why, “or even if that attraction is any proof that they will be a good match for us.”
Kindness and intelligence carry the most weight in a relationship
High emotional intelligence helps keep romance alive in any partnership. Other experts supported the idea that being empathic and open-minded makes you more attractive to others.
Therapist Jeff Guenther shared key traits to look for in a life partner, noting that someone who makes you feel seen and heard, even when you’re fighting, respects and values you overall.
“Does it feel like they want to find the solution and repair the disconnect? Huge green flags,” he said.
Guenther explained why dating someone who makes you feel good about yourself, at your core, is so important, saying, “It’s not so much how you feel about them, although that matters. It’s more about how you feel about yourself when you hang around them.”
“Do you like the version of you that shows up?” he asked. “Do you feel authentic and free?”
Guenther’s final trait centered on kindness. He believes that finding a kind partner is essential because “You deserve to be with a nice person.”
Author and relationship coach Matthew Hussey also explained why kindness and compassion matter. He listed kindness, empathy, and compassion as the top traits of a great partner.
“Someone who shows up for you in a consistent way … They care about my day and the challenges in my life and want to support me in those,” he said.
He also emphasized that being a great communicator is a hugely important trait in a partner. In many ways, it comes down to whether someone can listen openly while understanding why you feel the way you do.
Empathy means recognizing and understanding someone else’s emotions, a critical element of maintaining any long-lasting relationship. An empathic partner helps people feel valued and understood for who they are, which is essentially what we’re looking for when we connect with someone.
In the end, it’s not about your hair color or the kind of car you drive. It’s more important to show up for others and center compassion as a key part of your relationship.
Alexandra Blogier is a writer on YourTango's news and entertainment team. She covers social issues, pop culture, and all things related to the entertainment industry.
