Mentally & Emotionally Sensitive Men Usually Feel Most Loved By People Who Do 4 Things Naturally
Kateryna Onyshchuk | Shutterstock It has been suggested that I’m an HSP (highly sensitive person), an empath, deeply introverted, and a number of other things (all of which have validity)… The bottom line is that I am incredibly sensitive. I get overstimulated easily during everyday activities.
I can read someone’s thoughts and emotions from across the room just by watching their face. I write my articles before sunrise because it’s the darkest and quietest hour of the day. I go to movies alone because I want to react to them at my own pace. I go for walks with earplugs in and sunglasses on to limit stimulation.
Maybe some of these types of behaviors sound familiar to you (in terms of your personal experience, or you recognize these traits in your highly sensitive partner). Regardless, if you’re still reading, it means you want to know how you can better love your highly sensitive people.
Highly sensitive men feel most loved by people who do these things:
1. They don't rush them
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Highly sensitive people tend to have rich inner worlds with a mass of swirling thoughts. So when you ask them something or are waiting for a decision from them, do your best to not rush them.
They have a lot going on in their minds and might need a bit longer to respond than most.
2. They support their need for alone time
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Yes, it’s true that everyone needs some alone time… regardless of how extroverted they are. But sensitive people don’t just have an “it would be nice” kind of relationship to quiet time. They have an “I need quiet/alone time, or else I can’t function in society” kind of relationship to it.
I know that, for me personally, if I do more than ten hours of coaching in a week and I don’t prioritize time in a silent, dark room, then my mental and emotional energy gets thrown out of whack in no time. There’s a reason I wear earplugs so often in my daily life when I’m outside of the house. HSP’s see, feel, and hear everything.
So even if your highly sensitive partner says that they’re fine, really make it known that you are always happy to make their sensitivity a priority. If they need to leave a dinner party because they feel overstimulated, go with them. If they get that dissociated look in their eyes because they’ve had a stressful week, ask them if they’d like to meditate or go lie down for a nap. Do whatever you can to let them know that you understand them and want to cater to their unique way of experiencing the world.
When a highly sensitive person feels and trusts that they are safe with you, they will give you access to the richness and beauty that is their soul. Being in an intimate relationship with a highly sensitive partner is one of the rarest gifts if you know how to make them feel comfortable with you.
3. They calibrate the environment to make them comfortable
This one was an absolute game-changer for me. Knowing that your partner is easily over-stimulated by their environment, you can proactively calibrate your home environment to better suit them.
Have soft throw pillows and blankets lying around. Put dimmer switches on your lights. If you live in a noisier area or have loud neighbors, invest in soundproofing your walls. The less stimulating an environment is, the more your highly sensitive partner will feel like they can let their guard down and really be there with you.
4. They watch for signals of overstimulation
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Sometimes your highly sensitive partner will become so overstimulated that it becomes increasingly difficult for them to communicate verbally. When this happens, it can be highly beneficial to have a signal worked out so they can communicate their state without having to articulate it.
I have had clients use the following:
– Making a peace sign and putting it over their heart (to signal, “Give me a few minutes, I’m feeling a lot right now.”)
– Fanning their fingers out and waving them back and forth in front of their face (to signal “I’m overstimulated and not feeling very present right now.”)
– Putting their hands over their ears and looking down (to signal a combination of “It’s really loud/overstimulating here, and I’d like to change environments/leave soon.”)
Whatever signal you work out, make sure it makes sense to both of you and that it will be respected when used.
Just the fact that you took the time to read this article says so much about you as a partner. As always, proactive communication from the mindset of “How can I best love you?” will always be well received. And since HSPs are used to feeling like they don’t really belong in the world (because daily life often doesn’t feel like it’s geared towards being sensitive), the gesture of you trying to understand and love them better will be doubly appreciated.
Jordan Gray is a five-time #1 Amazon best-selling author, public speaker, and relationship coach with more than a decade of practice behind him. His work has been featured in The New York Times, BBC, Forbes, The Huffington Post, and more.
