4 Marriage Habits Boomers Get Mocked For That Experts Say Are Surprisingly Healthy
Samra Nasee | Pexels Baby Boomers tend to be seen as out of step or silly in their ideals; younger generations just love to make fun of them, although sometimes for good reason. Of course, this is an example of ageism and doesn't help move our conversations or relationships forward in a productive way.
The Boomer marriage that has lasted over the decades is a particularly special occurrence that we all can take note of. The long-lasting Baby Boomer marriage has stood the test of time, social change, personal differences, and who knows how many disagreements between both partners. So, there must be something to learn from their habits.
Here are the habits married Boomers get mocked for that therapists say are surprisingly healthy:
1. Talking instead of texting
Aleksandra Sapohnikova / Unsplash
Divorce mediator Jennifer S. Hargrave has been between many arguing spouses and says one Boomer habit sets longer-lasting marriages apart: "A Boomer marital habit that makes for better marriages is actual face-to-face communication, and spending time together talking," she explains. "While we may make fun of Boomers for not being as tech-savvy as the younger generations, they also are not caught up in doom-scrolling while sitting right next to their partner."
Couples counselor Siddharth S. Kumaar has discovered from his older Baby Boomer clients that, "In a marriage, direct phone contact has various advantages to texting, most of which cannot be replicated. By properly expressing tone and emotion, it helps to avoid misinterpretation and thereby lessens misunderstandings." Making the effort to contact shows your spouse that they are a top concern and reflects intentionality.
2. Writing handwritten notes rather than emailing
"When the norm for communication has been reduced to emails, texting, or a social media post, perhaps one of the most endearing habits that still warms the heart and ensures closeness is a handwritten expression of gratitude or appreciation," says marriage educator Larry Michel.
Michel continues with examples: "From a sticky pad note left on a mirror to a sweet card in an envelope left on a counter or sitting next to a single stem flower leaves the mark of a delicious surprise that is rarely, if ever, forgotten."
3. Eat dinner together without phones
Therapist Gloria Brame knows the importance of a dedicated meal time. "When I was growing up, my parents served a balanced dinner promptly at 6 pm. There were no devices to distract us from the meal. That meant we had to talk to each other for entertainment."
"These days, couples are distracted by their jobs, friends, and devices, have fewer conversations at the table (if they even sit at a dinner table), and often rely on fast-food delivery or snacks to feel full."
According to Brame, "Dinner time doesn't have to be rigid, but the health of a marriage should make time for conversation every night, before you're sleepy or get caught up in a TV binge. It's also better for personal health to have a meal two to three hours before bedtime every night."
4. Knowing some things are worth waiting for
jordi / Unsplash
Relationship coach Michelle E. Vasquez has seen the shift toward instant gratification creeping into how people approach their marriages. "I want it in 30 seconds, and I want it hot, tasty, and inexpensive," Vasques observed. "Since the advent of fast food, we seem to have become an instant gratification society."
Vazquez points out that this mindset eventually finds its way into how people see their relationships. "They think of their marriage as fast food, not fine dining. It becomes a disposable commodity instead of something to treasure and enjoy."
Boomers know how to take time, focus, and produce positive results when they have the energy of love driving their actions. The long-lasting Baby Boomer marriage is exceptional in many ways, the least of which is the fact that the relationship has survived into the 21st century and beyond, which is probably enough to make the rest of the generations perk their heads up and take notes. Handwritten notes, preferably.
Will Curtis is YourTango's expert editor. Will has over 14 years of experience as an editor covering relationships, spirituality, and human interest topics.
