20 Little Things Great Husbands Do That Matter More Than You Think, According To Marriage Therapists
Everyday actions make a husband truly unforgettable.
Kindel Media | Canva What makes a man a great husband? Every relationship is unique, but research reveals that certain qualities stand out when it comes to being a high-quality partner.
These aren’t about grand romantic gestures or being perfect—they’re about traits that build trust, connection, and happiness in a marriage. Being a great husband takes continued effort. The task doesn't always come naturally. It can be quite confusing to figure out the right way to take care of a spouse and keep them happy.
Here are little things great husbands do that matter more than you think:
1. Notice little changes
A man who will make a great long-term partner or husband pays attention to the little things. He notices when you change your appearance, haven’t seen or talked about one of your friends in a while, or haven't done an activity you enjoy.
2. Give tiny but meaningful gifts
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A gift doesn’t have to cost much — or even anything — to be a powerful statement he is thinking about you and will help to build a stronger bond.
3. Say 'thank you'
Saying 'thank you' for the little things — stopping at the store, taking care of the kids, or doing the laundry shows thoughtfulness and care that will bring you closer, according to research.
4. Offer to help
A common complaint from spouses is that their man doesn’t see what is going on and how their partner could use a hand to take care of things. An offer to help will open your heart to him.
5. Know how to listen
A spouse needs to talk about their day and how they feel. They need their husband to hear the whole story without trying to talk them out of how they feel or try to solve a problem for them.
6. Know how to take no for an answer when necessary
Sometimes, you are not in the mood for whatever he tries to talk you into. Further pushing may cause you to back away. A man needs to show respect for the word "No."
7. Plan an entire date night on their own
A night out that is completely planned for you will score big points, especially if childcare is taken care of as part of the package.
8. Remember the things you like
You can be endeared to your husband if he pays attention to the things you like — whether it is an item of clothing, a piece of jewelry, a food item, or a place to eat. Listening to the big and little hints you give shows he's got it.
9. Organize a break just for you
You will remember when he thought ahead and planned a break for you. It could be as simple as a quiet bath with candles and a cup of tea all prepared for when you come in the door, or the treat of a morning to sleep in while the kids are taken care of, or a complete day to spend as you want, while he covers the bases.
10. Pay nice compliments
It is heartwarming to hear compliments on how you look, how cute you are in that new sweater, how you parent the children, or how much you liked a meal they prepared.
When given sincerely, compliments can boost self-esteem, enhance communication, and foster a sense of security and appreciation within the relationship. Studies, including those by John Gottman, indicate that good marriages are characterized by a high ratio of positive interactions, including compliments, to negative ones.
11. Leave notes
Texting and email are great ways of staying in touch, but there is still a lot of heartfelt emotion in a handwritten note or card that expresses gratitude, love, and affection for a spouse.
12. Hand-deliver a cup of coffee
Getting out of bed first and bringing a cup of coffee or tea exactly how you like is a perfect way to start the day by expressing he cares.
13. Recognize when you are having a bad day and take care of you
A great husband knows his spouse well enough to know if and when you are having a bad day, and he steps up to do extra caring things to take care of and comfort you.
14. Fix things that need fixing
Most households have things that need to be fixed once in a while. Even if he doesn't know how to fix it, making the effort to keep things in running order, or finding someone who can, speaks clearly about his interest in taking care of you.
15. Jump in to help without an attitude or being asked
You will share it with her friends because it means so much when he makes the effort to jump in and help without expressing a negative attitude and without being asked.
Proactive, supportive husbands who offer help without being asked or showing resentment significantly contribute to relationship satisfaction and well-being. A 2022 study explained that this proactive support is linked to positive relational dynamics and can benefit both partners' health.
16. Tell you how they're doing inside
As a man and his marriage relationship mature, he knows that intimacy with his spouse deepens as he learns to open up and let you in.
17. Open the door
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Common courtesy goes a long way in making a person feel loved and adored.
18. Step in to provide protection when needed
As a man gets to know the person he loves, he learns the situations in which they are likely to feel vulnerable and unsafe. He will do what is necessary to let you know he has your back in whatever way you need it.
19. Know how to say 'I'm sorry'
Even in the best relationships, people still hurt each other. The hurt may have been intentional or not, but a loving husband learns how to recognize when he has hurt his spouse and says he is sorry. He will do what needs to be done to repair the relationship.
20. Kiss you
A great husband continues to show affection and kisses his spouse throughout their relationship. Take good care of your spouse, and they will take good care of you!
Kissing is not just a romantic gesture. It can be a powerful tool for strengthening relationships, promoting well-being, and extending lifespans. One study indicated that men who kissed their wives goodbye each morning lived about four years longer than those who didn't.
Drs. David and Debbie McFadden are a husband-and-wife team specializing in helping struggling and distressed couples in the US and Canada.
