If A Man Wants You To Believe 8 Things He Says About You Are True, Run Far, Far Away As Fast As You Can
simona pilolla 2 / Shutterstock Finding yourself in a toxic relationship can feel like a nightmare, and there’s very little chance it will get better. It hurts even more when you've tried as hard as you can to be everything a man wants you to be, and he insists on saying horrible things to you about who you are.
When a man says things that sound nice on the surface but are actually passive-aggressive, or possibly even hurls biting insults your way that you know aren't true but make you second-guess yourself anyway, it can wreck havok with your mental health. These phrases are a clear sign it’s time to run from him, even if he wants you to believe that he really has good intentions.
You should run immediately if a man tries to convince you these things he says about you are true
1. ‘You’re so lucky to have me’
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This phrase is really confusing because being called lucky sounds like a good thing. The problem is this guy is saying the only reason you’re lucky is that he’s decided to stick around despite how awful he's implying that you are.
Men who say this often think they’re superior in some way, not just to you, but to everyone else. They see themselves as a huge catch that other women would love to have. That turns into a way for them to manipulate you into believing you should never let them go.
2. ‘I wouldn’t say these things if I didn’t love you’
This is extremely problematic because it’s nothing more than a way for a man to justify his bad behavior, which is harmful for you and your relationship. Whether he’s really being mean or just not apologizing for his mistakes, he’s saying that it’s OK for him to do that.
It’s almost like he’s hiding behind his love like it’s a shield. He sees his disrespect as a sign of love, so it shouldn’t be something to get upset about. In fact, he might just think you should be grateful, when it's probably the other way around.
3. ‘You worry too much because you’re insecure’
When a man points out that he thinks you’re worrying too much, it can seem sweet because it suggests he’s worried about you, too. But putting a spotlight on your insecurities is a way for him to tear you down instead of actually helping you boost your confidence.
This can be especially concerning when it’s used to manipulate you and make you feel like you’re paranoid. Maybe you suspect he’s doing something he shouldn’t behind your back, and he writes it off as nothing more than your insecurity to shut down the conversation. That’s not OK.
4. ‘No one else could put up with me like you do’
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This is a pretty crazy thing to say that should set off an immediate alarm in your head. This guy is coming incredibly close to admitting he’s a problem, but trying to pass it off as a sign of your strength because you can actually deal with him.
An inability to take responsibility is a classic sign of a toxic person, and that’s exactly what a man is doing when he says this. He’s refusing to hold himself accountable for his bad behavior, quite possibly making you feel guilty at the same time because you can’t leave if no one else would ever accept him.
5. ‘I don’t know what you’d do without me’
Any man who wants you to believe he is an absolutely necessary part of your life is trying to control you. A more accurate translation might be, “You could never survive without me, so you shouldn’t try.”
By sending this message, he’s slowly pushing you to depend fully on him while ignoring everyone else in your life and second-guessing yourself. It’s nothing more than a desperate power play, but it’s manipulative enough to work in a lot of cases.
6. ‘I know you’re only crazy because you care’
Relationships can’t survive when one or both partners make criticism a regular part of their communication. Unfortunately, that’s exactly what a man is doing with this phrase.
It’s easy to mistake it for him appreciating your quirks since he softens the blow by saying something nice that could even sound relatable to you. But that doesn’t change the fact that he attacked you and labeled you as crazy. That’s not what people do when they’re in love.
7. ‘I said that so you can become better’
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This phrase seems to combine all of the things a man could possibly do wrong. It probably follows a critical comment, and he’s trying to justify his hurtful words while avoiding responsibility for the pain he caused.
It’s important to stand your ground when he says this. It’s meant to destroy your confidence, but you can stop him in his tracks. Doing that might mean walking out, though.
8. ‘I’m probably the only person who’s honest with you’
On the one hand, this sends the message that anything this guy said that was offensive is totally fine because it was just him being honest, which is a good thing. What’s even more dangerous is the way this can be used to isolate you from other people.
If he’s the only one who tells you the truth, then it would make sense that he’s the only one you should listen to, if not the only one you should talk to at all. This will make you dependent on him before long and push everyone else you care about away through what can only be described as emotional abuse.
Mary-Faith Martinez is a writer with a bachelor’s degree in English and Journalism who covers news, psychology, lifestyle, and human interest topics.
