If He Does These 7 Subtle Things, He’s Not Bad At Commitment — He’s A Serial Cheater
Teodorapopa | Pexels When it comes to the topic of cheating, there are a million different emotions involved. The sad reality is that we all know someone who is slightly affiliated with a cheater.
Sometimes it’s easier said than done when identifying someone as a serial cheater; others, it’s far more difficult. But what are the warning signs he's cheating to look for to tell if someone is a serial cheater who usually cheats on more than one person? There are a few subtle signs that suggest he's just bad at commitment, as he's probably telling you.
If he does these 7 subtle things, he’s not bad at commitment — he’s a serial cheater:
1. He started off the relationship with you as the other woman
If you started your relationship being his other woman or used to be one to him years ago, there’s a good chance it’s going to happen to you, too. You should know the warning signs. If you think he’s changed because he actually wants a commitment with you, you’re blinded.
Starting a relationship as someone's other woman means you inherit all the risk. As divorce and life coach Dr. Karen Finn explains, "The other woman, conversely, is now in a relationship with a partner who has a demonstrated history of deception and, likely, infidelity."
2. He swears he's never cheated before (but you know it's not true)
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If he doesn’t ever admit to cheating on someone in the past or on you, it’s a huge indication that he doesn’t even feel bad about it. It all depends on whether it was confessed or discovered.
If they’re upset about it or want you to know they’ve done it before, then he’ll come forward; if not, then he’s unapologetic about it. If it’s discovered, then he had absolutely no plan to tell you and is probably still maintaining those habits.
A 2025 study found that planned infidelity produced the least guilt and regret, suggesting that someone who cheated deliberately and stayed quiet about it felt far less remorse than someone who slipped up in the moment. If he never came forward on his own, that silence is a pretty clear sign he wasn't losing sleep over it.
3. He doesn’t introduce you to anyone in his life
If you’ve been with this person for a while now and have yet to meet a single person in his life, then you are more than likely not relevant enough in his life. This might be because you are his side piece and he’s living a double life with you. You might think you’re his girlfriend, while he actually has a girlfriend away at school or something. It sounds sketchy, but this could be why.
Research found that one of the most common strategies cheaters use to hide affairs is keeping their two worlds completely separate. If you've been around for months and haven't met a single person from his actual life, you might be the secret.
4. You don’t exist in his life outside of the two of you
In relation to never meeting anyone in his life, when there is no sign of existence in his life, that too is another major red flag. If he doesn’t post pictures of you or even take them with you, take that as a sign. When he keeps you completely out of his social world, that's him keeping you compartmentalized.
Relationship expert Charles J. Orlando, who interviewed more than fifty cheating men, found that "if he was going somewhere else and had no reason to hide it, he would most likely talk about it with you." And the same applies to you: a man who's proud of you shows you off.
5. His friends are shady
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You might have known his friends from other situations, or from what you know of them, you might see some warning signs. But if they seem like party boys or bad influences, there’s a good chance they know he’s cheating or is enabling him to.
The people he surrounds himself with matter more than you might think, and research actually backs that up. A study found that exposure to a social environment where cheating is normalized makes people significantly less committed to their relationships
6. He’s always oddly busy
When you go to make plans with him, do you find he always makes elaborate excuses to back out of commitments he’s made to you? Or that he always seems busy when you try to initiate things? Dates and hanging out should not always be at his discretion. It seems like he’s hiding something, and that’s super suspicious.
When making plans with him feels like navigating an obstacle course; it's a pattern. Relationship expert Charles J. Orlando shared one man's confession firsthand, "I was constantly looking for reasons to get away, and it was hard to think of new excuses all the time. So, I'd start a fight with her."
7. He sporadically becomes 'boyfriend of the year'
Aside from gaslighting, most serial cheaters also go through spurts where they act like boyfriend of the year. They become overly affectionate, they spoil you with gifts or dates, and they give you nothing but their attention.
That’s a sign for, he’s been bad and is making it up to you, or he needs something to pass his time since he just got rid of one of his side chicks for a while. We always go into situations with the best assumptions and hope for the best.
Those red flags may not be as obvious as we think. You should take notice of his habits and always be on the lookout. Serial cheaters are the best at lying and have done this so much that they have the art mastered. And if he ever playfully accuses you of being paranoid, take that as the biggest hint of all because your suspicion is usually never wrong about these things.
Unwritten publishes content on relationships, love, mental health, wellness, and more.
