What To Remember If You're Dealing With The Pain Of Loss

Take your time and do your best to take one step at a time.

woman on a beach Kryvenok Anastasiia / Shutterstock

By Brittany Christopoulos

Healing is a natural part in life; we heal in many ways such as getting over a broken bone, or a broken heart.

The hardest part about healing is that everyone does it differently, and what technique works for one, may not work for another. It’s easier said than done to move on from something, too.

No one can tell you what you should do or what should work for you but you. You need to be selfish during these times.


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Healing is not an overnight process.

In fact, it can be anywhere from a week to four more years or longer. When our heart is hurt there is no set time it’ll take for you to accept what has happened and to move on from it like nothing happened.


Just when you think you are over it and have moved on with your life in a positive way, you get a reminder or a random thought that sets you back. The wound will reopen several times in your life until you learn to have an appreciation for them as a whole.

And just because you have moved on from the sadness and pain does not mean you will forget about them.

When we experience loss, whether it be to death or an unexpected heartbreak, our heart never fully gets rid of that person. We reflect on good memories and become full of regrets for not cherishing them when they were here.

Because we are healing, we start learning to cherish them in a new way and that can be quite painful to experience.


There’s a guilt that hits you at the worst times too. It’s as if you feel bad for enjoying yourself without that person there or that you feel lonely even in a crowded room because they aren’t there.

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Whoever it is you are missing is missing you too, and they want what’s best for you.

And if that’s to go out with new people and have a good time, you need to do that. Stop holding yourself back from new opportunities and memories because of the past.

And although you are trying to do your best to get life back to normal and move on from the heartbreak, you can’t help but break down.


These meltdowns can be debilitating and that’s normal. You need to express your emotions in whatever way makes you feel better.

No person can tell you how to move on besides yourself. It’s okay to experience moments of weakness because that shows you are a human with emotions.

Don’t give up or get discouraged because you can’t seem to move on. Take your time and do your best to take one step at a time.

And with every day that passes where you feel like you’ve gotten nowhere, remember you’re already in a better place mentally than you were the day before and that you are improving.

It’s so important to remember that life will get back to normal and you will feel whole again.


Take your time and do what you have to to make yourself get back to where you want to be, people will understand it takes time and that everyone heals differently.

Patience can be frustrating but it will be so worth it in the long run.

RELATED: How To Mourn The Loss Of Someone You Don’t Know

Brittany Christopoulos is a writer, journalist and fill-in TV co-host. She's a Senior Writer and Head of Trending News for Unwritten. Follow her on Twitter.