5 Ultimate Red Flags That Tell You Your Relationship Is Doomed

Don't give up your happiness to be with someone who shows these warning signs.

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You’ve invested time. You’ve opened up about things you thought you would never share with anyone. You’ve given so much energy to this relationship. But now, in the back of your mind, there are little feelers scurrying about — thoughts whispering, “Has this relationship run its course? Is it time for me to move on?” This is a hard question because there are so many emotions involved.

There are some cues to help you know when to break up with someone, but before I begin, remember the golden breakup rule: End the relationship if you are no longer happy, and if you have little reason to believe you will be happy any time soon.


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Your happiness as an individual is the end-all and be-all of why you do what you do. Presumably, you began this relationship because in some way it contributed to your happiness. When happiness is at risk, you should seriously consider moving on with your life.

Here are the 5 ultimate red flags that tell you if your relationship is doomed:

1. Verbal, emotional, or physical abuse

Abusive behavior of ANY kind — verbal, emotional, or physical — is absolutely unacceptable. You should certainly leave an abusive relationship and take proper measures to ensure your safety during the break-up process.


​2. Betrayal of your trust

This is an obvious one, but I will still mention it. If your lover cheats on you while both of you are in a committed relationship, you should not hesitate to unapologetically dump them and move on with your life. If they cheat once, they will most certainly cheat again. It just isn’t something you need in your life.

RELATED: The 6 Not-So-Pretty (But Totally Normal) Stages Of A Breakup

3. You only feel their love and support during the good times

When you are happy or excited about something, it is only natural to feel like the people around you love and support you. But what about when you're “down in the dumps” or have a severe case of the blues? Do you still feel like your significant other is there for you?

If not, then there’s a reason why you feel this way: they don’t love you as much as they used to. Again, this is a tell-tale sign it’s time to move on from the relationship.


4. You're not personally growing as a result of the relationship

You should be in a relationship that will contribute to your growth as an individual — a relationship that is positive for you (mostly, at least), not negative. So if you discover your relationship starts to stunt your advancement and growth as an individual, consider the possibility the relationship really isn’t doing anything for you.

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5. Your friends and family think they aren't good for you

This is a tricky one — and it’s NOT a hard-and-fast rule. Generally, if your close friends and family — who have known you for quite some time — don’t think the person you are with is good for you, then it’s quite possible your loved ones see something you don't. If they think you should end the relationship, at least be sure to listen and keep an open mind.

Just remember, if you don’t consistently wake up excited to see and spend time with your partner, then this is likely your mind's subtle way of telling you the relationship does not meet your needs.


A relationship won’t always be sparks and fireworks, but if you wake up day after day with little to no excitement over your significant other, consider it a hint that it’s time to move on.

RELATED: 10 Totally LEGIT Reasons Why You Need To Dump This Guy

If you or someone you know is suffering from domestic abuse or violence, there are resources to get help.

There are ways to go about asking for help as safely as possible. For more information, resources, legal advice, and relevant links visit the National Domestic Violence Hotline. For anyone struggling from domestic abuse, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233). If you’re unable to speak safely, text LOVEIS to 1-866-331-9474.

Kelly P. Crossing is an experienced counselor and relationship expert who specializes in helping women build the lives and relationships they want by understanding their driving needs and how to meet them.