To All The Boys Who Have Broken My Heart

You opened my eyes to the kind of men you are.

Last updated on May 12, 2023

women with sunglasses Olha Yefimova/ Shutterstock

By Nicole Garbanzos

To the boys who broke my heart:

I still haven’t healed from the time you robbed me of my first kiss. That night in your car, filled with exploited intentions, showed me exactly what a kiss shouldn’t be.

Yet, I quickly lost my identity as I desperately tried to hold your attention. I found myself constantly frustrated by your inability to tell me how you really felt; I hated the way you’d disappear for hours, instead of confronting me about our problems.


But I later learned that you only cared about getting to know me from the outside, instead of learning what lies within.

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My heart sank every time you told me you didn’t feel ready for a relationship. For some reason, though, I believed that I was the problem. After all, I could never compare to the numerous Instagram models you followed.


As I tried to cling to you, I slowly crumbled into a discouraged, jealous, pessimistic shell of a girl who lost every ounce of self-love I ever held.

I lost hope, my spirit was crushed, as I truly stopped moving toward the light at the end of the tunnel. And yet, I still can’t believe that you left me for another girl. You disappeared so suddenly when I thought our connection felt so stable.

Even though you brought out the worst in me, I never thought I’d let you go.

I may never understand why you took the easy way out. I will never know why you made a decision before talking to me or why you made the decision at all.

But for all the darkness you brought into my life, you also taught me an important lesson: You taught me everything I didn’t want from my next romantic partner.


Because of all the boys who broke my heart, I fell in love with the small things in life, now I see just how significant they really are. Because of you, I learned to value honesty and sincerity.

Your incompetence eventually pushed me to settle for nothing but the best; your immaturity encouraged me to cherish someone who chooses to stay and figure things out.

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You opened my eyes to the kind of man you are. This helped me learn how to appreciate any man who didn’t make me feel the way you did.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that I’m actually grateful for all that you put me through.


I know I haven’t seen you for years, but in that time, I found a good man who loves everything about me and I don’t think I would have ever found him without you.

When I was with you, I was timid, unsure, and desperate for a relationship that gave me a sense of validation. However, I’ve grown into a woman who no longer tolerates anything that doesn’t serve her, and I’m willing to walk away from anything that may interfere with my dreams and aspirations.

I still need to forgive myself for the times I came running back to you and heal from the mess you made.

So, to all the boys from my past: I just wanted to let you know that I will no longer settle for less than what I truly deserve.



The girl who couldn’t be better without you

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Nicole Garbanzos is a journalist and freelance writer with bylines in ELLE Canada, Goalcast, Unwritten, Thought Catalog, and HOLR Magazine. Follow her on Twitter for more.