Stop Making Excuses For People Who Hurt You Over And Over Again

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woman staring out the window

Some of us have a tendency to only see the good in people. We ignore their issues and forgive bad behaviors because we think deep, deep down that they really didn’t mean it. We know that we have bad parts in ourselves and we hope that others can see beyond that, so we do the same for others. 

I mean, everyone’s human right? We all make mistakes, so don't we all deserve a second chance? 

Nope. We don't. 

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Yes, things happen and people screw up. Every situation is different, and only you can determine if it’s worth forgiving someone over or not.

But when the person you’re in a relationship with — or even someone you’re just platonically close to — is constantly hurting you over and over again, then they don't deserve any more chances. They've shown you again and again that they don't care about you, because they keep hurting you.

It's time to break up. 

Of course, this is all easier said than done. This person obviously means a lot to you or you wouldn’t put up with their behavior and disrespect. You don't want to hurt them, and you don't want to make them feel like a bad person. 

But sometimes you have to be selfish.

Sometimes you have to stop caring about how your decisions will affect other people. 

You have to love yourself and say enough is enough. You have to make yourself a priority and cut out anyone in your life who’s trying to tear you down.

Now if it’s a family member or someone you work with, you may not be able to cut them out completely, but you can definitely reduce your time with them. 

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If they want yet another favor, tell them no.

If it’s a guy who wants to make plans with you yet again — but he’s canceled like 40 times already — tell him you’re busy.

If it’s a friend who wants to yell at you yet again for not being there for her, you need to stop answering the phone. 

It doesn’t matter if you know they don’t mean it, or if you can understand why they’re acting out. You can’t make excuses for people. You can’t let them hurt you. You have to stand up for yourself. 

Break up with anyone who makes you feel bad more than they make you feel happy. 

You have some control over who you give time to. You can tell people no, and you can cut ties without any explanation. And when you finally do free yourself up from all that negativity, you make room for a bunch of positive stuff to come into your life. 

So what are you waiting for?

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Emily Blackwood is a writer and editor who covers all things news, pop culture, true crime.