Husband Who Makes $250K A Year Refuses To Give His Stay-At-Home Wife Access To Money — ‘I Can Ask For $20 At A Time’

What she's experiencing is financial abuse.

sad, stressed mom on laptop sitting on couch next to kids KieferPix / Shutterstock

For some couples, it makes more sense for one partner to work while the other stays home. This is fine as long as financial matters are worked out. However, sometimes, a couple doesn’t quite have the money side of things under control.

That was true for one couple where the wife had to practically beg for money.

A woman who could only get a handful of money at a time from her husband called 'The Ramsey Show' for help.

A stay-at-home mom named Angela placed a call to "The Ramsey Show" to ask for advice regarding her husband’s handling of finances. On the day she called in, Dave Ramsey and his daughter, Rachel Cruze were hosting the show. A clip of the conversation was posted on Cruze’s TikTok.

@rachelcruze Sharing accounts means sharing access. If you’re married, both spouses should have access to finances, period. #financialfreedom #relationships #moneyandmarriage ♬ original sound - Rachel Cruze

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“He makes about $250,000 a year and refuses to give me, um, access to the finances,” Angela said.

“We’ve been married for eight years,” she shared. “I’ve been a stay-at-home mom for two.”

“I’m not on his account,” Angela stated. “He does give me, you know, x amount of money each month to pay the bills. It doesn’t really even cover the bill amount, to be honest with you, and I’m always left with $0.”

“Dang, Angela,” Cruze said in shock. “Why won’t he put you on his account? What does he say?” Cruze asked.

“Um, I think it may be fear of giving that control up,” Angela responded.

Cruze shared the hard truth of the situation with Angela.


“This splitting of finances to the point that you don’t have access, I mean that, that borders on financial abuse, that you don’t have the ability to access money that is coming into your household,” she said.

Angela responded with the full, sad truth, “I can ask him for $20 or $50.”

@kerrymcavoyphd An example of financial abuse. It can occur in more subtle ways that barring someone from working, sharing an account, or hiding money.Has this happened to you? Leave me a comment!#financialabuseawareness #narcissisticabuse #abuse #financialadvice ♬ original sound - Kerry McAvoy, PhD

At this point, Ramsey stepped in and offered his thoughts as well.


“You’re not his daughter,” he said. “This is bothering you because it’s wrong.”

“It sounds to me like it’s a whole lot more toxic and bad than you actually think it is,” he added.

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As Cruze said, this does sound like a case of financial abuse.

Financial abuse is a less recognized form of abuse. The National Domestic Violence Hotline explained why.

“Many people can understand physical abuse due to the marks or injuries that leaves,” they said. “However, there are other types of abuse that are harder to see but can be equally devastating. Financial abuse is one such type.”


As Angela pointed out, this is all about control. The Hotline added, “As with all types of abuse, financial abuse is rooted in the desire of one partner to have power and control over the other. A partner who chooses to abuse will control their partner’s finances or their ability to provide for themselves through a job or public assistance they receive.”

Financial abuse isn’t talked about often, but it affects a large portion of abuse victims. “Though financial abuse can be hard to see, it does impact many people who are experiencing abuse,” The Hotline said. “According to our most recent report, 27% of our contacts who were in abusive relationships reported experiencing financial abuse.”

TikTok commenters agreed something was seriously wrong in Angela’s marriage.

Fellow TikTokers who commented on the video of Angela’s call to the show also felt that something was off.


“He’s hiding something, or he’s abusive,” one person said.

“I’d go back to work and stop paying the bills,” another person added. “Just let him start taking care of it. Just start saying no.”

He’s building his own nest egg. Then he will leave,” a third person said.


It seems like everyone who has heard about Angela’s situation is in agreement — something very bad, and likely abusive, is happening. Hopefully Angela will be able to remove herself from these circumstances quickly.

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Mary-Faith Martinez is a writer for YourTango who covers entertainment, news, and human interest topics.