Stepmom Gives Her Biological Child The Biggest Bedroom In Their House Even Though 'It Drives My Stepkids Insane'
She argued that her stepchildren already have a luxury that her biological daughter just doesn't have.
Alexander_Safonov | Shutterstock A stepmom has received some pushback after sharing the setup in her house when it comes to the type of room that her biological daughter has versus the room that her stepkids have. In a TikTok video that was reposted on Reddit, a stepmom named Lupi seemingly defended her decision to give her biological daughter the biggest bedroom in the house, even though she was younger than her stepsiblings.
Her reasoning: Since she and her husband are still together, her biological daughter only gets one house to live in. Her stepkids have bedrooms at their biological mom's house, too, so that somehow evens it out in her mind.
The mom gives her biological daughter the biggest bedroom because her stepkids have rooms at their mom's house.
"My biological daughter has the biggest room in our house, and let me tell you why. You may disagree with me because she's the baby and she has two bigger siblings, but I want you to understand something," Lupi began in her video, filming clips of her daughter's room filled with all of her toys and other belongings.
She explained that this is her and her husband's only house that they own, and that it angers her stepchildren that her daughter has the biggest room. They argued that it isn't "fair" considering she's the youngest. Lupi claimed that she doesn't take her stepchildren's complaints into consideration and instead pointed out that "fair is something you pay to ride the bus."
Not only that, but she pointed out that her stepchildren have two homes. The home with their dad and then the home with their biological mom. She insisted that both homes are "fully stocked" with anything that the kids need, compared to her biological daughter, who only has one home with her parents.
"They go every other week to another house that is fully stocked," she continued. "So don't let your stepkids manipulate you for the decision that you're making. I have a reason. Okay?"
She acknowledged that if they all lived together full-time, her eldest stepchild would have the bigger room.
Lupi argued that since her daughter still has her parents together and they all live under one roof, it's only fair that she's allowed the bigger room. While her stepchildren don't seem to understand that reasoning, Lupi isn't backing down from it, no matter how much they complain.
However, people in the comments section criticized Lupi, but it wasn't for the fact that her daughter was being allowed the bigger room. In fact, most people were upset because of the way she was talking about her stepchildren. What rubbed them the wrong way was Lupi's "self-righteous attitude" and the way that she was "mocking her stepchildren."
Cheryl Brodnax, a Provisional Licensed Professional Counselor, told Baton Rouge Parents, "One of many issues that may arise within the new family unit is something referred to as 'biological favoritism.' Biological favoritism is defined as situations where the mother or father will show more leniency towards their own biological children than they do towards their stepchildren. Or, they may shower their biological children with many gifts on their birthday, but they might not do the same when it is their stepchildren’s birthdays."
Ignoring the Lupi's daughter's bigger bedroom and subsequent "my daughter only gets one bedroom" argument, this mom's tone and demeanor seem to scream biological favoritism. So much so that she actually views her stepchildren's custody situation as some kind of leg-up they have over her own daughter. The reality is much more obvious to everyone from the outside looking in. Dealing with divorced parents, a new sibling, a stepmom, and split custody that requires them to go back and forth between two very different homes, regardless of how good a co-parenting situation might be, is simply a hard childhood. Period.
The mom's short video doesn't give the full picture of what life looks like in her household.
Igisheva Maria | Shutterstock
There's also simply nothing easy about coming together as a blended family. What may look like a case of favoritism on social media could just be trying to find a balance between parenting both her biological daughter and her stepchildren.
At the same time, the way a parent chooses to frame their reasoning matters just as much as the decision itself, especially when you're sharing it on social media for many others to see.
It's not surprising that many felt she came off as dismissive because, whether you're a parent, stepparent, or just a guardian to children, when you appear to minimize or mock their feelings, the validity of your argument doesn't even matter. Children in blended families are already navigating a significant amount of change, so both tone and understanding are crucial in ensuring they feel heard and respected.
Nia Tipton is a staff writer with a bachelor's degree in creative writing and journalism who covers news and lifestyle topics that focus on psychology, relationships, and the human experience.
