5 Small Ways Parents Can Bring Back Joy In Kids Who’ve Lost It
Dimedrol68 | Canva What is social-emotional learning, and how does it help you bring the joy back in a child who's lost it? If you're a parent worrying about your child, you're not alone. Kids today are navigating more pressure than ever: financially, medically, academically, and socially.
Social-emotional concerns are at an all-time high, and parents are struggling and concerned. As a parent of two children, my heart breaks for these kids. "Where's the fun?!" "How can this still be going on?" "Why can't someone fix it?"
We, parents, hear this from our children and feel helpless. Wouldn't you gladly "fix" this if it were humanly possible? Fortunately, there are things you can do as a parent to create joy and help your child or teen stay socially and emotionally centered.
Here are 5 small ways parents can bring back joy in kids who’ve lost it:
1. Walk in their shoes
Your child or teen needs you more than ever — even if she doesn't show it. The world has become big and unrecognizable, and without the life experience you have, it can be scary. Social-emotional concerns are at an all-time high. You have no idea where we are headed either, but your steady presence can help keep your kids' social-emotional boat from tipping.
Take a moment to put yourself in their shoes. It really is a tough time. Whatever means you use — meditation, deep breathing, exercise, or even hiding in a bathroom — try to get your emotions in check. This balance will enable you to manage your own emotions and allow you to truly empathize with your child or teen.
A 2025 study found that parental empathy and sensitivity play an important role in children's growth, influencing emotional regulation, social skills, and mental health. When parents respond supportively to their children's emotions by validating and encouraging expression, kids become more comfortable experiencing and expressing their full range of feelings.
2. Choose an activity for each day
Getty Images / Unsplash+
What activities can your kids do each day of the month? Rather than saying, "Hey, why don't you create those videos you have always wanted to make?," say, "Why don't we sit down and draft some quirky topics you can make videos of?" If you think of a new topic every day, it helps your child stay focused and interested when they're feeling down.
If your son loves tennis, maybe he can gently hit a ball against the wall one day. The next day, he can do so with his backhand. Craft stores are also a great way to bring out the creative right brain in all kids. The point is to build on strengths, develop new interests, and strengthen relationships.
Studies show that the tendency for parents to see and encourage children to use their strengths is a factor positively linked to life satisfaction, positive emotions, and family happiness in teens. And when parents participate in shared activities with their kids, children show increased confidence and overall health, with family functioning improving across the board.
3. Bring back joy to your child by monitoring and adapting your tone
Everyone is at their worst when they're tired, sad, angry, and lonely. Remembering this helps when one family member acts out. Come up with a word or phrase that everyone recognizes as the "code" for returning to civility. The whole family should try to be more considerate.
Be sure to share with your children what respect looks like and admit it when you struggle. In a non-shaming way, say the code when tempers flare, their tone becomes disrespectful, and their actions are rude. Eventually, you will catch it before you're even told.
Therapist Reta Faye Walker explains that good communication is the difference between average and good parenting. "Amazing parents listen more than they preach, discuss rather than tell, and demonstrate respect for their children's values, thoughts, feelings, and opinions," Walker explains.
4. Tap into interests and strengths
Andrej Lišakov / Unsplash+
It can be easy to get caught in a stage of moping, but this is not a good place to rest. Together, when both of you are in a loving and receptive mood, brainstorm ways to tap into both of your strengths and interests.
You both may have more time on your hands than ever before, so make a pact not to squander it. Be each other's mentors and remind each other what you each like and where you can find joy. Maybe you both will actually come out of this with a new or renewed passion.
Strength-based parenting, which is the tendency for parents to see and encourage children to use their strengths, is linked to lower stress and higher overall satisfaction in adolescents. According to research, when parents actively identify and build on their children's strengths and interests together, it raises happiness at the family level as a whole.
5. Bring back joy to your child by staying centered
Yes, you miss your friends and former activities, too. You don't have to put on a "brave face" and insist all is OK in the world. As parents, we are our children's social and emotional coping models. It's OK to share your disappointment or frustration honestly. You're human, too.
Together, you can come up with ways that will raise every member of the family's spirits. Pick out a great tree, shop for a neighbor in need, or decorate cookies that Martha Stewart would be proud to show. Sharing together ways to overcome the struggle will nurture bonds that will hopefully bring up nice memories down the road of how you all pulled through together.
Parenting coach Judith Pinto reminds us that kids need attuned, attentive time with you, whether they are 18 months or 18 years old. "Spending time with them is not just something you can do 'now and then' — this is an everyday kind of thing, even if all you can spare is just ten focused, undivided, and undistracted minutes a day," Pinto says.
Caroline Maguire, ACCG, PCC, M.Ed., is a personal coach who works with children with ADHD and the families who support them.
