Pregnant Woman Warned To 'Take Caution' After Mother-In-Law Restricts Her Eating At Her Own Baby Shower
Those who gave her advice suggested "this is a husband problem," not a mother-in-law problem.
Ffoto29 / Shutterstock Conflict with in-laws can be difficult to handle, especially when trying to keep the peace within your own home. However, people online are urging one pregnant woman to consider not just her relationship with her in-laws but also that with her husband after a situation that occurred during her baby shower.
The woman walked out of her baby shower after her mother-in-law told her not to eat.
A self-proclaimed "big girl," the mom-to-be wrote on Reddit that her mother-in-law has always had an issue with her weight, which only got worse once she became pregnant.
"She started making more comments while low key shaming me for what I eat," she wrote. "Whenever I visit, she'd give me smaller plate, portion, cup even spoons. She also buys me 'small size' clothes even though I'm in my 2nd trimester and those clothes don't fit."
The issue came to a head at a baby shower thrown by her in-laws when the mom-to-be became hungry and approached her mother-in-law, who was in charge of serving food.
"All that was served was cakes and juice. I got hungry from talking and I got up to eat some cake," the woman recalled.
When she went to eat the cake, however, she explained that her mother-in-law physically stopped her from eating and told her that she'd "gained enough weight already," warning her that she'd risk losing her marriage because the mother-in-law's son "will not be happy living with 'a large Walrus'."
Photo: Emituu / Shutterstock
Understandably offended, the woman left the baby shower, which angered her husband.
"He said that his mom meant well and that I needed to get rid of this 'easily offended' mindset immedietly [sic] before I pass it down to our son," the woman wrote, adding that her husband expected her to apologize to his mom and sister.
Many people on Reddit noted that though the mother-in-law's comments were problematic, the more concerning issue was her husband's actions.
"Is he/his family trying to control you, isolate you from your family or is this a once off?" the top comment asked, suggesting the pregnant woman may be in a toxic relationship.
According to licensed psychotherapist Dr. Marni Feuerman, some of the more common signs of emotional abuse in a relationship include putting you down and making things your fault. In addition, Dr. Feuerman has noted that attempts at isolation are another glaring sign of emotional abuse, which people in the comments noted happened when her husband refused to let his wife's sister host the baby shower.
"Please take caution," one person wrote, adding, "This is not a man you want to raise a child with."
Not only is this toxic family dynamic harmful to the pregnant woman, but as others pointed out, may subject her child to such behavior once it's born.
While it can be scary to think about leaving a marriage, especially when pregnant, it's necessary when the safety of you and your child are at stake.
"My first and only thought is GET OUT of this marriage quick," one person wrote. "Things aren't going to get better from here."
If you or someone you know is suffering from domestic abuse or violence, there are resources to get help. There are ways to go about asking for help as safely as possible. For more information, resources, legal advice, and relevant links visit the National Domestic Violence Hotline. For anyone struggling from domestic abuse, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233). If you’re unable to speak safely, text LOVEIS to 1-866-331-9474 or log onto thehotline.org.
NyRee Ausler is a writer who covers lifestyle, relationship, and human-interest stories that readers can relate to and that bring social issues to the forefront for discussion.