Parents Wonder If They're Wrong For Not Sharing Their Son's Life Insurance With His Live-In Girlfriend Of 2 Years
pics five / Shutterstock In a recently deleted Reddit post on the “r/AITA” subreddit, a father in his late fifties revealed that his 33-year-old son, Eric, had tragically passed away from an accident in October of last year. With his passing, his son left money behind.
But rather than take the money for themselves, the man and his wife debated sharing the life insurance payout with someone very close to their son: his girlfriend.
The parents refuse to share their deceased son’s life insurance with his live-in girlfriend of two years.
In his post, which was later uploaded to TikTok, the father stated that while his son wasn’t married, he lived with his girlfriend of two years, Emily, with whom he had purchased a home last June. “The house was $525k, and they put down $225k,” said the user.
He added, “They each paid half of the down payment and had been splitting the mortgage equally (as well as all of the rest of their bills). She makes about $80k per year after taxes. The house mortgage is $1,775 per month.”
“My son has a life insurance policy that paid out $750k,” he continued, further revealing that about six months before the accident, his son expressed that he had intentions of proposing to his girlfriend, but it would take a few years before they could officially tie the knot.
Given this information, the father explained that he and his wife have been taking time off work to grieve and process the loss of their son. However, what they planned to do with the money has raised many questioning brows. Instead of fairly distributing the money to Emily, their once-intended daughter-in-law, the father felt it best to use it to help pay off their own home and medical expenses. He wrote, “This money will allow us to pay off the rest of our mortgage, take stress off of our lives while we grieve, and hopefully retire a couple years earlier than we intended (we both have medical struggles, so this is a big deal).”
Of course, not everyone was on board with the idea.
One night, when their other son, Mike, joined them for dinner, they brought up the situation concerning his brother’s life insurance payout. After explaining what they had intended to do with the money, Mike was far from supportive, and understandably so.
The father wrote that later on, “Mike said he understands that we're grieving but we're selfish and narcissistic for not considering how tough this is for Emily and not even helping her by giving her enough to pay off his share of the house, if not the whole mortgage,” adding, “We're kidding ourselves if we think Eric would have wanted this.”
The story resurfaced in a podcast called “Two Hot Takes,” hosted by Morgan Absher and joined by guest co-host Fannita Leggett. In response to the Reddit post, Leggett said, “They [were] only dating for two years.” She added, “If [Eric] was already 33 and hadn’t proposed to her, and he said they weren’t getting married for another few years… he was never going to marry that girl.”
However, Leggett said she understands that it’s only fair for the family to share some of the payout with Emily, in addition to paying off Eric’s share of the house. Still, she felt that two years wasn’t enough time to establish any real involvement in a relationship.
Many concluded that the parents were in the wrong for not honoring their son’s wishes.
One user felt that, more than anything, the post indicated undertones of entitlement as opposed to grief by minimizing Emily’s current financial situation, along with her role in their son’s life. They wrote, “He quickly glossed over how Emily is screwed and writes a list of all the great things he can do with his dead son's money. It doesn't read as grief-stricken at all. Emily isn't family, she's an alien that doesn't matter despite being the most quantifiably impacted by the death.”
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Another person commented on the post’s intentional phrasing of the situation, saying, “She’s his girlfriend of ‘only 2 years’ so obviously she doesn't count. What a gross and dismissive way of referring to the woman that your son loved, lived with, and expressed his intentions of marrying.”
Earning over 22,000 upvotes, one person provided a solution that would leave everyone involved in a better place financially, saying, "Eric's half of the house would be $150k... So doing right by Emily would cost you $200k. You received $750k. It SHOULD be a no brainer to do the right thing by Emily. You know it's what your son would have wanted, you still walk with $550k, and now you know Emily is not in a difficult situation financially."
Unfortunately, this couple was tragically stripped of a marriage-minded future, and for people like Eric's parents, if they don't see a ring on it, they're not considered a part of the family. As a lesson to be learned, it's probably a good idea to update your life insurance policy so that people (even your own family members) don't try to take advantage of it.
Xiomara Demarchi is a graduate from the University of Illinois at Chicago and a writer who covers news and lifestyle topics that focus on psychology, relationships, and the human experience.
