Parents Who Raise Grounded Kids Don’t Sugarcoat These 9 Harsh Realities
How to gently teach children the real ways of the world.
Ahmadreza Najafi | Unsplash I've found hundreds of parenting books and websites devoted to nothing but the day-to-day decision-making of parenthood (time management, hygiene, manners). No surprise that there are also quite a few resources on how to raise an emotionally healthy child.
I read a lot of them. But the more I read, the more I realized that I have a real problem with a lot of this "professional" parenting advice. It all focuses on the parent. And I don't believe that my children's future happiness is solely dependent on how I raise them.
A 2018 study argued that while parenting significantly influences a child's well-being, their future happiness is not determined exclusively by parental choices. Parents can equip their children with skills like problem-solving, communication, and resilience, which are crucial for navigating challenges.
Parents who raise grounded kids don’t sugarcoat these realities:
1. 'Fair' and 'equal' are not synonymous
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Coming to terms with that as early as possible will save you a lot of heartache.
2. Respect isn't earned; it's lost
There isn't a person alive who doesn't deserve your respect from the first moment you meet. It's your responsibility to give that respect freely, and theirs to continue to give you a reason to do so.
Likewise, be wary of anyone who doesn't offer you respect from the outset. You deserve it, too.
3. Optimism is a skill, not a trait
Be relentlessly, obnoxiously optimistic. Optimism is a skill: The more you practice it, the better you'll be.
4. Learn to be okay with not being the best
Or the smartest, the most attractive, or the most of anything. Happiness is not a competitive sport.
5. Honesty is a sharp weapon
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Be tactful. Honesty is a sharp weapon that shouldn't be treated as though it were dull. There's a reason people who are "blunt" do so much damage.
6. Surround yourself with diametrically opposing viewpoints
Your friends should be of varying ages, races, socioeconomic statuses, cultures, and religions — some like you, but some not. Disagreement is the lifeblood of wisdom.
7. Be both independent and vulnerable
Find the delicate balance between allowing others to do too much and allowing them to do what they can.
8. Treat your body and your heart with respect
Intimacy isn't the kind of gift that you can get back — once it has been given, it belongs to the other person forever.
9. Make the conscious decision to find joy in your life every day
Some days it will be obvious and effortless. Other days will take work, but there is always something for which you should be thankful.
Who knows? Maybe this will work. I'll let you know in 20 years or so.
Jennifer Oradat is the co-founder and Editor-in-Chief at Mom Babble. Her writing has been featured on Scary Mommy, What the Flicka?, The Huffington Post, and more.
