Mother-In-Law Throws Baby Shower For Herself Since She's Expecting Her First Grandbaby — 'She Keeps Calling The Baby Hers'
The mother-in-law confessed to creating a registry for herself.
Africa Studio and mimagephotography / Shutterstock A grandmother-to-be has caused tension in her family after organizing a baby shower to celebrate her upcoming grandbaby.
While it's common for mothers to organize baby showers for their children, this grandmother-to-be had no intention of celebrating her son and daughter-in-law and their journey into parenthood. Instead, she wanted to honor herself and “her” baby.
The woman’s mother-in-law threw a baby shower for herself to celebrate ‘her’ baby.
Sharing her story on Reddit, the woman revealed that she and her husband are expecting their first child. They recently moved to be closer to her husband’s family since she is estranged from her own. The woman’s mother-in-law has been over the moon since learning that she will become a grandmother, and has made it known to her son and daughter-in-law.
“My mother-in-law has been referring to the baby as ‘her’ baby this entire time," she wrote. "She will say things like ‘I can't wait for my baby to be born,’ and ‘my baby is going to be so loved.’”
The woman admitted that her mother-in-law’s comments have rubbed her the wrong way, although her husband is encouraging her not to let them bother her.
“My mother-in-law wanted to throw me a baby shower and invite her friends. She said they made an agreement a long time ago that they would celebrate each other's kids' weddings and births,” the woman wrote. “My mother-in-law told me that I owed it to her to let her throw the baby shower since I hurt her friends' feelings by not having a wedding reception.”
When the mom-to-be asked if she could invite her own friends to the baby shower, her mother-in-law refused.
“She said no, that this was for her friends, and that if my friends wanted to throw me a shower they could,” the woman wrote. “I reluctantly agreed.”
Photo: gpointstudio / Shutterstock
The woman’s mother-in-law asked for her baby registry so that she could send it to her friends and plan the shower.
The woman shared that she was doing a “garden theme” for her baby’s nursery, and all of the items on her registry were tied into the theme somehow. However, when she arrived at the shower, she noticed that her mother-in-law had envisioned a completely different theme.
“Every present was some sort of circus animal. Onesies, blankets, toys - nothing on my registry,” the woman wrote. “I thanked everyone for their gifts and tried to sound as gracious as possible, but I was so confused.”
When the woman’s husband arrived at the end of the shower, he confronted his mother immediately as to why the theme was completely different than what he and his wife had asked for.
“She smiled and said, ‘I didn't like the theme you chose for my baby. I'm going to decorate my baby's nursery at my house with circus animals, so I created a registry for myself,’” the woman revealed.
Her mother-in-law’s decision to change the theme prompted the woman to inform her that she would not be seeing her grandchild.
“My husband told his mom that she's delusional if she thinks we're going to allow this,” the woman added.
Her mother-in-law burst into tears, claiming that the woman and her son were “withholding HER baby from her.”
Since the shower, the woman and her husband have been bombarded with text messages from other family members criticizing them for being “selfish” and “ungrateful,” noting that they have “ruined” her mother-in-law’s joy of becoming a grandmother.
Now, the woman is asking if her reaction was perhaps a bit too far.
Many people validated the woman's feelings of not wanting her mother-in-law to see her baby after the shower.
Most of them believed that the mother-in-law’s behavior was inappropriate and controlling.
“This is very disturbing behavior..deranged in fact,” one Redditor commented. “If you and your husband ever do relent and let her glimpse the baby, I know you will never let him or her out of your sight and that nursery will NEVER be used.”
“Ah, you have one of those mother-in-laws. I’m so sorry. You don’t need or deserve this crap,” another user wrote.
Others pointed out that even if the baby shower was meant for the grandmother and her friends, the mother-in-law still should have respected her son and daughter-in-law’s registry choices, considering the baby was theirs and not hers.
While it is acceptable to be an involved grandparent if the baby’s parents allow it, it is not appropriate to declare the baby as your own and weigh in on parenting decisions, including what the nursery theme will be.
Some grandparents play an active and positive role in their grandchildren's lives, and finding a balance that respects the parents' wishes and promotes a healthy family dynamic is crucial.
Photo: Anna Kraynova / Shutterstock
It is normal as a new grandparent to be excited and want to share all of the joy with your loved ones. However, you must remember that the spotlight and important decisions do not fall on the grandparents.
Every decision when it comes to the baby will be rightfully determined by the parents.
Megan Quinn is a writer at YourTango who covers entertainment and news, self, love, and relationships.