Mom Who Lost Her Dad On Christmas Three Years Ago Hasn't Let Her Kids Celebrate The Holiday Ever Since
Dragana Gordic | Shutterstock We often think of the holidays as being a festive and joyous time, but they can be hard for a lot of different reasons. Christmas is especially difficult for anyone who is grieving, and that grief is only made worse when you’ve lost someone on or close to the holiday. It could definitely make someone question whether celebrating is the right thing to do.
Still, life goes on. As much as a loss may hurt, you can’t wallow in it forever. Not only do you have to continue living your own life, but you also have to go on for the good of those around you who mean the most to you. Unfortunately, one mom felt like she just couldn’t move past her loss, and it made life incredibly difficult for her two daughters, who just wanted to feel normal.
The woman’s husband asked if he was wrong to celebrate Christmas with his kids without her approval.
“My father-in-law died on December 25, 2022,” he said in his post. “Extremely sad, unfortunate, my wife has been [going to] therapy since then.” Because she lost her dad on Christmas, his wife naturally feels a lot of pain about the holiday. They have 6- and 8-year-old daughters, but didn’t celebrate Christmas in 2023 or 2024 because of her grief.
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“Honestly speaking, me and our daughters didn’t [have] a good bond with her dad, because he was terminally ill [for] years,” he continued. “Since his death, I’m doing everything [I can] to support my wife. There’s not a single [piece of] advice her therapist gave me which I didn’t follow.”
Of course, this man can only do so much for his wife, as can her therapist. At some point, she has to decide to move on by herself. He said her therapist has been pushing her to do this for about a year now.
He thought this would finally be the year they celebrated Christmas again, but his wife wasn’t having it.
“I was really excited for 2025 Christmas (mainly for kids, they kept asking us why we don’t celebrate Christmas like … their friends, which honestly drained my heart),” he shared. “I’ve been encouraging my wife too since October.”
Unfortunately, she didn’t come around. He explained, “I was really expecting her to move on this time, but again, she started behaving the same a week before Christmas and now, I was honestly fed up with her. For how many years are we gonna miss our family’s Christmas, that … I call the best years, as our kids are of perfect age to celebrate it?”
He couldn’t stand it anymore and confronted his wife, but all he received in response was “moody behavior.” So, he did what he could to still make the day special. “This time, I decided to prioritize our daughters’ happiness and did the arrangements [and] decorations with them, while still trying to push my wife, but she got highly irritated [and] upset as if [wondering] why we’re even celebrating.”
This husband and father has no idea what to do, especially since his wife’s mother and siblings resumed celebrating Christmas themselves in 2024.
Lisa DeSieno, the Bereavement Services director for the Mayo Clinic in Eau Claire, Wisconsin, said, “Grief and bereavement are universal, understandable human responses to loss, but how each person processes the various symptoms and reactions can vary greatly. Because each person is different, how and when those feelings surface will vary.”
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Everyone has to grieve in their own way, but you can’t expect to get away with grieving in a way that hurts others, especially your children. As fellow Redditors pointed out, your responsibilities do not end because you’ve lost someone.
Healthline writer Rachel Hall, MSN, CRNA, explained that while it doesn’t happen for everyone, grief can sometimes turn into depression. It sounds like that’s where this mom is at, and she likely needs to seek additional help.
Mary-Faith Martinez is a writer with a bachelor’s degree in English and Journalism who covers news, psychology, lifestyle, and human interest topics.
