Mom Wonders If She Should Cancel Her Son's Birthday As Punishment For Bullying Kids At School
She doesn't want his actions to go without consequences.
Dragana Gordic | Shutterstock A mom admitted that she wanted to cancel her son's upcoming event after finding out how he was treating the other kids at his school.
Posting to the subreddit r/parenting, she claimed her son didn't deserve to celebrate his birthday and questioned if she should cancel his party to teach him a lesson.
She wants to cancel his birthday party as punishment for bullying kids at school.
In her Reddit post, she explained that her son was turning 8 soon and was having a scheduled party to celebrate with some of his friends and family. However, she recently learned that he had been acting out toward other kids at school.
She was informed by his school that he pulled another student's pants and underwear down, and was not happy upon hearing about the incident. She and the little boy's father attempted to explain to him why it was wrong to pick on other people and took away all of his electronics as punishment. Despite their efforts, the very next day, she ended up getting another call from the school's principal.
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"I got a call from his principal telling me how he attacked a kindergartner at recess before school started and was pushing him down to the ground and spanking him. The child is traumatized. I am absolutely beside myself," she wrote.
She insisted that there would be a myriad of punishments for her son following the second incident, including writing apology letters to everyone he hurt by doing that. On top of taking away his electronics again, he'll also be forbidden from having play dates, have to work with his father, and won't be allowed to stay up late. She also revealed that she'll be looking into therapy for him.
The one thing that she's questioning, though, is if this warrants canceling his birthday party since he doesn't deserve to have one after his recent behavior. While it may be a deeply conflicting decision about whether such a severe consequence is appropriate for an eight-year-old, it might be necessary to help him understand the severity of his actions and their impact on others.
If you do bad things, you won't be rewarded for them — which is a lesson that children should learn from their parents.
It's good that on top of all of the punishments, she's also concerned about her son's mental health and behavior enough to put him in therapy, which can hopefully address and solve the underlying issues that are causing him to act out and be violent toward others.
While bullying deserves punishment, in very young children, it's usually a symptom of something else going on in their lives.
She doesn't have to alienate him on his birthday entirely and can cancel the party but still have a small get-together with just close family so that he doesn't feel completely alone on his special day.
People agreed that it was a tough decision, but if they were in her shoes, they'd cancel the party as well.
"In your shoes, I might cancel the party. It's a tough one. You want the kid to really think about their actions. I would have a long talk with his dad, and decide if this is an appropriate punishment. I would also talk with the child and try to figure out why he is doing this," one Reddit user suggested.
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Another user added, "I'd tell him that you need to postpone the party because he's clearly having a hard time treating his classmates well, and you're going to help him figure out what's going on and how to stop it. I'd go ahead with a small family celebration and gift, though."
"Counseling is a good idea. Is he doing these things to get attention? You have to wonder why... Is there something going on in his life that’s triggering this bad behavior? Both parents should sit down with him and have a talk," a third user chimed in.
Ultimately, punishing the little boy will only go so far. What needs to be done is getting down to the root of the problem so that incidents like this never happen again.
Therapy, combined with clear and fair consequences for his actions, can help him build the skills he needs to manage his behavior in the future and grow into a compassionate and responsible person.
Nia Tipton is a Chicago-based entertainment, news, and lifestyle writer whose work delves into modern-day issues and experiences.