Mom Asks If She’s Wrong For Refusing To Let Her Husband Take A Solo Trip Because He’s ‘Sick Of Just Sitting Around With The Babies’
Why take care of two infants when you can travel?
Tatyana__K | Shutterstock Taking care of babies is arguably one of the hardest parts of parenting. But what if one partner decides they want to go on a solo adventure while the other is left to handle the babies alone? That’s exactly what one Mom on Reddit is dealing with.
When raising infants as a couple, it's essential to share duties so neither parent becomes overwhelmed. Sure, if one parent works while the other stays home, it’s natural for one to take on more of the childcare. But if both work full-time and one is a teacher with the summer off, well, what happens then?
A mom shot down her husband's plan for a solo vacation.
A working mom took to Reddit to share her frustration with her husband’s vacation plans. “I’m a mom of three,” she wrote, “a 7-year-old girl and 8-month-old twin boys.” She added that she works a 9-to-5 corporate job, while her husband is a teacher with summers off.
Last summer, while she was pregnant, she agreed to let him take a solo trip to the Bahamas. “I travel for work, and he felt it was unfair that I got away so much,” she explained. But now, with the twins born and needing constant care, he wants to do it again, saying he's “sick of just sitting around with the babies.”
“We only have part-time care for the boys at the moment,” she noted, while their daughter attends a full-day camp. If he went away on a solo trip, that would leave her with baby duties. She wrote, "He has now turned it into me being the bad guy and all of a sudden he’s furious at me."
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If you're gut reaction is, this mom is totally right, think about this first: What if the roles were reversed? What if Dad was working, Mom was the teacher doing full childcare duty during the summer, and he said she couldn't go on a solo trip even though she was feeling a bit burnt out? It's not so cut and dry anymore, is it?
Being the primary parent is hard work, and it can take a toll on your mental health.
Dr. Vivek Murthy, physician and former U.S. Surgeon General, issued an advisory highlighting how unstable parental well-being has become. According to 2023 data, 33% of parents reported experiencing high levels of stress compared to just 20% of adults without children.
Even more striking, 48% of parents said their daily stress often feels completely overwhelming, while only 26% of non-parents reported the same. The sources of this stress come from financial pressure, concerns over children’s health and safety, time demands, feelings of isolation, and more.
In a nutshell, parenting is hard, and without a break every now and again, it can take a toll on your overall well-being. But what constitutes a break? Here's where things get a bit tricky. Does a work trip count as a break? Maybe not a break from the stress associated with a 9-to-5, but after the workday, when you head back to the hotel and there aren't any kids to feed, bathe, play with, help with homework, and put to bed, even though you can barely keep your own eyes open, it's certainly a break from childcare stress.
As one commenter put it, "I say this as someone who does travel for work. Yes, it's not quite a vacation. But getting to sleep in a bed, with no kids disturbing you, is a nice thing." The mom also added an update to her post that included that although she hasn't taken a work trip since the twins were born, "that will change in the coming months." She also noted that she did get a girls' weekend away after their birth and agreed that he should have the same.
Neither parent is wrong in this scenario, and can hopefully come to some sort of compromise.
The responses were overly supportive of mom, initially, until one commenter pointed out the gender bias. They wrote, "Child care is work. This guy is burnt out and probably a little starved socially. As OP considers him 'off,' and not 'working in the home,' I doubt she comes home from her corporate job and takes over parental duties to give him a break like we expect working men to do, either. There's certainly no mention of that here. Everyone is telling her she's not the bad guy. No one is admitting she would be if we swapped their genders."
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Perhaps a week-long trip is too much, but that's something this couple should talk about. Yes, the mom added that she's supporting his dream of possibly traveling through Mexico, the U.S., and Canada next year to attend the 2026 Soccer World Cup, but that's not guaranteed. It also doesn't diminish the fact that he's feeling like he needs a break sooner rather than later.
When you look at the full picture, neither parent is being unreasonable. Yes, Dad deserves a break, but Mom also would have a very hard time handling three kids and working full-time all on her own. Maybe the better solution would be Dad gets a long weekend to recharge, and Mom calls in some help from the village for a day or two. Better yet, maybe Mom and Dad get a long weekend away together.
Matt Machado is a writer studying journalism at the University of Central Florida. He covers relationships, psychology, celebrities, pop culture, and human interest topics.
