Mom Makes Plea For Schools To Stop 'Twinning' Days For Spirit Week — 'My Kiddo Is Crying'
Twin days are meant to be inclusive days full of friendship, but it seems like they really just leave kids out.
Evgeny Atamanenko | Shutterstock Ah, spirit week. We all remember those fun designated days when we wore our school colors or our pajamas to class. One mom recently took to Reddit to make a plea for schools to stop one particular spirit week activity — twinning days. She wasn't trying to ruin the fun, either. She was trying to make the week better for everyone.
In recent years, a common spirit week activity has been for students to “twin” with a friend, dressing alike. The only problem is … what if you don’t have a friend to twin with? I remember these twinning days in elementary school. Thankfully, I had a friend to twin with, but it still always stressed me out. It wasn’t fun, honestly. And, based on this mom’s Reddit post, not much has changed.
A mom begged schools to stop doing twinning days for spirit week because her daughter felt left out.
Of course, the issue with expecting kids to pair off and dress like each other is the fact that some kids are bound to be left out. That’s exactly how one mom said her daughter felt. She posted in Reddit’s r/kindergarten forum to make the request that schools put an end to twinning days.
Inga Mezentseva | Shutterstock
“Petition to stop doing ‘twinning’ days for spirit weeks,” she said. “That’s it. That’s the post. My pre-K kiddo … is crying after school because no one wanted to twin with her.”
She explained that there’s a reason her daughter doesn’t have anyone to twin with, but she felt like that was irrelevant — schools should stop the practice regardless. “We just moved to a new state and it’s a very insular town on top of that, but even so, just — why?” she asked. “Silly socks = yes. Wild hair = yes. Pajama day = yes. School colors day = yes. Pair off and create a ‘Hunger Games’ alliance situation in a room of 4-year-olds = no.”
Plenty of people sympathized with the mom’s plight.
One teacher shared the innovative way they made sure everyone in their class felt included. “As a teacher, I always announce that I’m going to wear jeans and a plain T-shirt (or a school tee, if the school gives them to kids) so anyone can twin with me,” they said. “It usually ends up being about 1/4 of the class. It does suck, but spirit stuff in general does.”
Another commenter recalled a twin day that took place when they were in kindergarten, when they overheard two close friends talking about what they would wear. Naturally, they assumed they were part of the group, so they wore the same thing. “The next day the teacher called us triplets all day and they were SO mad at me!!!” they said. “It’s a core memory — that feeling of shame even though I didn’t understand why.”
Spirit week should be a fun activity. It should not be stressful, and it should not make kids feel isolated and alone. There are so many other fun activities that can take its place. The mom was totally right comparing it to the "Hunger Games."
School doesn’t need to feel even more exclusionary for some kids.
This Reddit mom is far from the only person to feel like it’s time to get rid of twin days. Writing for The Orange County Register, Jill Hamilton said, “For a lot of kids, twins day is great fun … But for those who don’t have a best friend, who don’t belong, twins day just makes their outsider status more obvious.”
Mikhail Nilov | Pexels
Similarly, writing for Endurance Learning, education and development professional Heather Barry explained the issue of twin day at her two daughters’ school. “I heard a lot of grumblings about what was intended to be an inclusive activity actually excluding several students, should they not be chosen to be a twin or not be able to afford to buy the same clothes as their friends,” she said.
Some kids are blessed with close friends who allow them to enjoy things like Twin Day. For them, it feels like an inclusive and fun day full of friendship. But that’s not how it is for everyone. Some kids feel excluded every day at school, and pointing out how alone they are by having all the other kids dress alike just makes this worse. No kid should have to go through that.
Mary-Faith Martinez is a writer with a bachelor’s degree in English and Journalism who covers news, psychology, lifestyle, and human interest topics.
