Laid-Off Mom Insists On Moving In With Her Daughter And New Son-In-Law Because She Wants To Be Closer To Her 'Future Grandkids'
They just want to enjoy being newlyweds for a while.
fizkes | Shutterstock A husband has sought out advice after admitting that his mother-in-law has made plans to move in with him and his wife, but he doesn't have a desire to share his space with her.
Posting to the subreddit r/relationship_advice, he claimed that his mother-in-law would most likely ruin his plans on trying to spend quality time with his wife.
His recently laid-off mother-in-law insists on moving in with him and her daughter to be closer to her 'future grandkids.'
In his Reddit post, he explained that he just recently married his wife a couple of weeks ago, and now, his mother-in-law may be losing her job.
She's asked, or more so informed, his wife that she will be coming to live with them for an unspecified amount of time and has made comments that she wants to make the move so that when they have kids, she can be closer to them.
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"I’m really honestly upset about the whole thing. I don’t want her living with us. We are set to have a large wedding ceremony in a few months, and all of this happening leading up to it is just frustrating," he admitted. His wife has also been traveling for the last 7 months and he's been looking forward to spending some time with her now that they're married, especially before they have their official wedding ceremony.
Once they have the wedding, they plan on settling down and having children, but with his mother-in-law's impending move to their house, all of their plans seem to be getting set back. Before the two of them have children, he is adamant about it just being the two of them and doesn't feel like that will happen with his mother-in-law in the same house.
"I’ve spent over a decade in school/training to finally emerge to a point where we can start looking ahead and enjoy our lives, and then this happened right before the months I’ve been looking forward to all year," he continued.
"I have the means to pay for rent for my mother-in-law without very much difficulty." However, he feels like the bad guy if he tells his wife that he'd prefer to pay for her mother to live somewhere that isn't with them.
He's unsure how long it will take for her to find another job and doesn't want to risk agreeing only for her to end up living with them indefinitely.
It's understandable that he would feel overwhelmed and frustrated by the unexpected turn of events regarding his mother-in-law.
His desire for quality time with his wife is a reasonable excuse for not wanting his mother-in-law to live with them, especially since the two of them were just married and should be able to enjoy that new marital bliss.
Regarding the fact that the two of them haven't had children yet and don't plan to for quite some time, it seems his mother-in-law may be jumping the gun a bit.
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When and if they decide to welcome a child, his mother-in-law will most likely be more than welcome to visit and spend time with her grandchild. However, until then, it's fair that this husband wants to prioritize building a strong foundation for his marriage and enjoying the early stages of their life together as a couple instead of rushing things.
The best way for him to solve this conundrum is to have an honest conversation with his wife, and she should at least be able to understand where he's coming from.
But until then, he won't know what his wife thinks about the arrangement, and frankly, she may agree that, for the time being, her mother should at least stay somewhere else. The fact that he's even offering to pay her rent is a reasonable compromise and a possible solution to their predicament as well.
The first thing he should do is sit down with his wife and explain his reasoning for not wanting her mother to live with them. From there, the two of them can discuss alternatives together, including finding other accommodations for her mother or how they can potentially help her find a new job.
Nia Tipton is a Chicago-based entertainment, news, and lifestyle writer whose work delves into modern-day issues and experiences.