Mom Confronts 22-Year-Old Daughter After Finding Out She Was ‘Seeing’ Her 42-Year-Old Friend — ‘He Even Babysat Her’

Big age gaps aren't the issue in this story.

mom and adult daughter in heated discussion BakiBG / Canva Pro

One mom took to Reddit, frantic over her daughter's current situation.

She explained that her 22-year-old daughter revealed a relationship with their friend, Adam, who is 20 years her senior. 



A mom confronted her 22-year-old daughter after learning she was 'seeing' her 42-year-old friend.

The young woman's parents have known Adam for 15 years, and the mom said he even used to babysit their daughter when they would go on date nights.


It all came to light at her daughter's birthday party.

young adult celebrating birthday with cake and friends Geber86 / Canva Pro

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The mom stated that her daughter wanted to celebrate one birthday with her friends and the next day with her family. What was strange was that her daughter invited Adam to the family celebration on her own. The mom said she never gave her his contact information.


At the party, she noticed they seemed a little too close for comfort, and it made her uncomfortable to see. The final straw was the moment she saw Adam caress her daughter's shoulder. 

She pulled her to the side and confronted her about what was going on.

The true nature of their relationship was brought to light.

Her daughter admitted they had been seeing each other for about six months by that point.  Angry, her mom reminded her that she had known this man since she was a child, and he was much older than her. Her daughter pushed back, saying she was an adult and was allowed to do what she wanted. 

"I stormed out, and I cussed out Adam for even thinking this was right," she angrily wrote. "He fired back, saying that she was capable of deciding what she wants." 


At that point, things escalated. "My husband got into the argument, almost causing a fight to break out. My husband and I left feeling ashamed of what had happened," she said.



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The mom said it’s been three weeks since the party, and her daughter is still refusing to speak to her. 

She stated that she would never forgive Adam because she doesn’t believe it has only been going on for six months and that there is a possibility it truly began when her daughter was still a minor. 


"The thought of it makes my stomach turn because if it is true, why didn't I notice."

Flooded with advice and sympathy, commenters stressed that the most important course of action for this mom was to make sure she was there to support her daughter through anything. 

One user noted, "Even though this is a hideous situation, I've been that daughter, and what's really important is that she knows that you're not going to turn your back on her when it all falls apart. It will hit her eventually, and even if she doesn't feel like you support her, she needs to know that you're not going to say 'I told you so' or make her feel like it's her fault."

This is a tough situation all around, and while the mom might be losing her mind, her daughter isn’t going to speak to her until she is ready. And when she is, mom needs to be prepared to listen without judgment. 


If she is able to calmly approach the situation and assure her daughter that their relationship will remain intact no matter what, she should be able to voice her concerns without her daughter shutting down.

Asserting independence as a young adult is never easy. These parents might have the wisdom to know this isn't the best situation for their daughter, but they need to give her the space to realize it herself, no matter how hard that is to do.

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Madison Piering is a writer on YourTango's news and entertainment team specializing in human interest and pop culture topics.