Lighthouse Parenting Is Awesome — Here Are 3 Ways To Do It

How to let your kid know you'll always be there, like a lighthouse in the distance.

Parenting your children like a lighthouse Pexels, Julia M Cameron, Monkey Business Images | Canva

When was the last time you had a truly deep, significant discussion with your kid? Has it been days? Weeks? Maybe you've never had a talk that made you quake in your boots as a parent. We spend 99% of our time as parents making sure our kids are on track, rather than letting them get off track, figure it out, course correct, and get back on track. We stand with a bird's eye view of our teen's life. We have navigated the waters and we already see the trainwreck that's about to happen, so we try to prevent it.


Teen dating, social media, mean girls, popular or unpopular, drugs, alcohol — is there any end to this list? We've been there, done that, and bought and sold the t-shirt many times over. We want to save our teens from the perils of being a teenager. We want to yank them back from the ledge and keep them from suffering the same heartache and pain we know is coming.

 But here's what you need to know as a parent: pain creates growth. True story. Pain causes us to change direction, pull away, regroup, stop something, or start something. When we step in every time and keep our kids from experiencing logical consequences for the choices they make, we short-circuit their ability to think critically and make intelligent decisions. Dr. Kenneth Ginsberg explains this concept in his new book, Raising Kids To Thrive. With his findings in mind, I want to encourage you to take these steps the next time you want to rush in and "fix it" for your kids.


RELATED: 6 Little Behaviors Of The Most Effective Parents

Lighthouse parenting is awesome, so here are 3 ways to do it:

1. Take a deep breath and pause

Wait. Let each moment play out. Count to ten before you rush in. Give your kid a moment to think through what is happening, and let them work their way out of it

RELATED: 10 Tiny Habits Of Parents Who Raise The Happiest Kids

2. Ask better questions

If you give your kid room to make their own choices and face the logical consequences, you leverage the opportunity to ask deeper questions. Ask them what helped them to decide. What would they do differently if they had to face the same situation? Are they happy with their decision? If they could change anything what would they change? Questions like these help our kids develop that critical thinking muscle.

@instituteofchildpsych 👇 What comments and questions do you ask your child to connect and inspire deeper conversation? We would love to hear your suggestions!!! 👇 These questions can transform your day with the child and make you feel closer to one another. These questions would be appropriate once your children reach 6 or 7 years of age. . . . 🧡Are you a parent struggling with the challenges of raising your child? Look no further! Our new ‘Child Psych’ App is here to support you every step of the way.🧡 Get access to expert parenting advice and resources at your fingertips, including: ✅ A parenting & mental health consultation group where you can ask experts questions and get the help you need on-demand ✅ A supportive and interactive private online community ✅ 70+ Courses and Workshops ✅ Printables and parenting scripts ✅ Resource guides ✅ Parenting group ✅ Weekly members-only free webinars ✅ Daily video parenting tips👉DOWNLOAD NOW | LINK IN BIO. . . #parenting #motherhood #momlife #parenthood #parentingtips #momlife #consciousparenting #momsofinstagram #familytime #dadlife ♬ original sound - Institute of Child Psychology

RELATED: Parents With These 8 Personality Traits Have The Most Effective Parenting Styles

3. Be a safe place to land when the dust settles.

Kids need to know that even when they mess up, you still love them, cherish them, and still believe in their ability to grow into incredible adults. Smile, nod, and offer support. Ask them what they need from you. Ask them what you can do to help next time. Ask them if they want to hear how you feel about it. Our kids believe that we are a wealth of knowledge, but they don't always want us to bash them over the head with it. Be a light in a dark world for your kid. Stand strong and true like a lighthouse. Our kids need us to usher them through childhood, not shove them past every single experience.

@connectedparentingau Five ways to show your child that you truly love them. Why does this matter? Because when kids feel truly loved, and truly worthy of our love they go better they cooperate better they listen better they make better friendships and they feel better about themselves. Comment below if this is helpful. #parentingtips ♬ Hip Hop with impressive piano sound(793766) - Dusty Sky

RELATED: 7 Things Your Kids Need To See You Do (Daily!) So They Feel Loved


Natalie Blais is a hands-on relationship and life coach with over 10 years of experience in relationship strategies, and intimacy education. She works with her clients seeking a solution-focused approach for rapid and long-lasting results.