Husband Tells Wife To Still Do Chores While Pumping For Their Newborn Since He Works 'Long Hours' Outside Of The House
He forgets that breastfeeding is a full-time job in itself.
Ground Picture, Netpixi / Shutterstock A husband is at odds with his wife after he suggested that she look after their newborn and get chores done while simultaneously pumping breastmilk for their baby.
The man claimed that he works long hours each day and deserves to rest for a bit when he gets home. However, his wife argued that she cannot multitask while pumping since it is a painful experience for her. Now, the man is wondering if he was in the wrong.
The man wanted his wife to look after their newborn while she pumped breastmilk since he worked 'long hours' outside the house and needed time to rest.
Sharing his story to the AITA subreddit, the man revealed that his wife is a stay-at-home mother to their infant son while he works full-time outside the house.
“When I get home, I just want to take a break for a little bit before helping out,” he admitted. However, when he gets home from work, his wife needs his help straight away. “Every day I get back, she immediately throws our baby at me and tells me to watch him while she goes breast pumps and watches Korean drama for like an hour.”
He shared that he bought his wife a portable breast pump "so she's not stuck to one position while pumping." However, the woman claimed that pumping sessions are very painful for her, and while she is pumping she would rather watch television to get her mind off the pain.
Furthermore, she shared that the more pain and discomfort she is in, the less milk she can pump.
Photo: BaLL LunLa / Shutterstock
The woman’s husband, however, believed otherwise.
“I told her I didn’t believe it and she was using pumping and milk production as an excuse to take a break and get away for an hour,” he wrote. "I do not mind giving her a break but I feel like she’s making it up to justify a break."
“She accused me of calling her liar,” the man revealed.
The man argued that since he works 14 to 18 hours a day six days a week, his wife should allow him time to rest when he gets home, even if it means watching the baby and getting chores done while she pumps. “There are days I only have six hours off between shifts but instead of sleeping, I have to watch our baby for an hour and it results in me only getting five hours of sleep for several nights,” he wrote.
The man gave his wife a little — but definitely not enough — credit for taking care of the night feedings and changes so that he could get more sleep, and even shared that she is always concerned about his health. The concern seems to be a one-way street, however, as he still claimed that she was just making excuses not to do anything but watch TV while she pumps.
Photo: Prostock-studio / Shutterstock
Many people online criticized the man for his request.
“Pumping is so [expletive] hard. It’s painful and if you can’t relax the milk won’t come,” one Redditor shared. “You cannot ‘do chores’ while pumping," another user commented. "Aside from there being a freaking pump sticking out from your chest, it would be incredibly uncomfortable.”
Others pointed out that the man’s wife is also working long hours without a break, and he should be willing to help her out.
“You aren't considering that she's working all day too and her job is just as hard as yours is in a different way,” a third user wrote. “It comes with almost no time off but for the bits of sleep she can get or that hour you give her when you get home. She's a 24-hour-a-day milking machine and it's hard work.”
Photo: Leszek Glasner / Shutterstock
“You have to watch your kid for ONE HOUR out of the day, and that’s not even to let your wife go out or have time to herself — it’s literally so she can get another chore done,” another user noted.
Parenthood is a never-ending job, with an infinite amount of responsibilities and tasks to get done, no matter if you are a stay-at-home or working parent. You and your partner are inevitably going to have to make sacrifices that may not always be the most convenient.
You may experience a lack of sleep, physical discomfort, stress, and exhaustion like you have never felt before, however, it is important to note that you are both working for the same team. Taking turns to help each other out encourages mutual respect, creates a supportive environment, and strengthens your bond as parents.
The man’s wife already gives him a helping hand by taking over his nighttime feeding and changing shifts so that he can get enough sleep for work, while she is working a full-time job herself.
The average breastfeeding mother spends about 1,800 hours a year breastfeeding. This is not too far off from the time the average full-time office worker spends working, considering that a 40-hour work week with three weeks of vacation comes in at 1,960 hours of work time a year.
Instead of accusing his wife of lying, the man should attempt to alleviate her pain during breastfeeding sessions by bringing her food and water, ensuring that she is in a comfortable position, and looking after the baby — even if it is immediately after getting home from work.
Megan Quinn is a writer at YourTango who covers entertainment and news, self, love, and relationships.