Husband Demands Paternity Test For Their Newborn Daughter After She's Born With Different Color Eyes
Her husband was convinced that she had cheated and was passing the baby off as his.
Dmytrenko Vlad | Shutterstock Posting her dilemma to Reddit, a 27-year-old mom questioned how she could move forward with her husband after he insisted that a paternity test be done on their daughter because she was born with blonde hair and blue eyes. To make matters worse, he abandoned her right after the birth, staying with his mom until the test was complete.
Somehow, this dad didn't get the memo that babies are often born with light hair and eyes, and even if she remained a towhead, there is such a thing as recessive genes that play a major role in appearance. Regardless, at this rate, he'll be lucky if his wife welcomes him back, even if he grovels.
A husband demanded a paternity test for their newborn daughter after she was born with different color eyes.
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The mom wrote, "I have been married [to] my husband for 2 years and gave birth to our daughter 5 weeks ago. I'll try to keep this short so I don't waste your time with any irrelevant details. What happened was that our daughter came out with blonde hair and pale blue eyes, while my husband and I have brown hair and brown eyes."
She explained that her husband immediately freaked out about the color of their daughter's eyes and even refused to listen to any explanations as to why that was the case. She tried to tell him that sometimes babies are born with lighter-colored hair and eyes that end up getting darker as time passes. There is never a guarantee of what color your baby's eyes will be, anyway.
Experts have noted that while babies inherit half of their eye color genetics from one parent and half from the other, the way multiple genes interact also plays a role in determining eye color. Even though two blue-eyed parents are more likely to have a blue-eyed baby, and two brown-eyed parents are more likely to have a brown-eyed baby, it's not always a guaranteed thing.
He threatened to divorce her if she didn't agree to a paternity test.
"After my daughter and I got home from the hospital, my husband went to stay at his parents' house for the first three weeks to get some space from me, while I recovered and he told them what was happening," she continued. "My [mother-in-law] called and informed me that if the paternity test revealed that the child wasn't his, she would do anything within her power to make sure that I was 'taken to the cleaners' during the divorce."
It's hard not to be outraged on this mother's behalf, and the fact that she seems to be taking it all with a grain of salt is maddening. One commenter said what we are probably all thinking, "I'm single and ready to hire a divorce attorney. Wow what a jerk he is. She and the daughter deserve better."
The fact is, she really does deserve better from both her husband and her mother-in-law. Other commenters pointed out another red flag that might even hit closer to home for this couple. All that suspicion about cheating could very well be him projecting what he's already done. One user noted, "Hes gotta be cheating or else his actions are just so so inconsiderate and lacking in love. His baby didn’t even spend any time with him those first weeks? Disgusting."
The paternity test proved he was the father, but he still wasn't happy.
Once the results came back, she wasn't surprised at all to learn that her husband was their daughter's father. Once he saw that it was confirmed, she recalled his shocked expression. Not being able to help it, she immediately blurted out, "I told you so," and couldn't help but laugh at his idiocy.
He didn't appreciate that she laughed at him, even though he totally deserved it, and they argued. Instead of apologizing and begging her forgiveness, he actually went back to his parents' house to "clear his head," and the two have been frosty with each other ever since. She claimed that her husband was hurt by the fact that she laughed in his face, but considering he was quite adamant about their daughter not being his, her reaction seemed pretty justified.
To add insult to injury, his mother called this new mom up to "scold" her for laughing at him and "kicking him while he was down." It's unfortunate that she didn't realize how toxic her husband and his family were before having his baby, but at this point, she needs to get herself into therapy and start packing her bags because the odds that this guy will even attempt to reconcile or, at the very least, own his mistake are slim to none.
After all, she had spent weeks being accused of infidelity just because her husband didn't understand genetics and the birth of a baby. Frankly, it's hard to move past a conflict like this when your spouse is convinced that you've cheated at some point and are pretending that the baby is his. There is a level of distrust that exists between the two of them, and it might be hard to move past something like that.
When it comes to making the decision about sticking things out or moving on, there isn't always a clear-cut answer. However, psychotherapist Esther Goldstein, LCSW, explained that you need to self-reflect and answer one very important question: "Are your basic needs being met?" She went on to say, "I’m not talking about a partner who brings you coffee every morning or who is committed to taking out the garbage. I’m talking about your need to feel understood, cared about, to feel a deep sense of safety and belonging? Does your partner make you feel bad when you express feelings or opinions, or is he or she curious about what you have to say, even when there are disagreements? Do you spend time together and talk? If you both don’t care about supporting each other's basic emotional needs, it’s not a good sign."
Nia Tipton is a staff writer with a bachelor's degree in creative writing and journalism who covers news and lifestyle topics that focus on psychology, relationships, and the human experience.
