Grandma Tells Her Son To Give Her Unlimited Access To Their Granddaughter Or He Is Dead To Her

She's ruining her family relationships in an attempt to get closer to her granddaughter.

upset elderly woman sitting on couch fizkes / Shutterstock

Harmonious family relationships are great in theory, but they rarely happen. Instead, there is often plenty of conflict and drama. 

That held true for one family in which a woman told her son he was dead to her if he didn’t give her unlimited access to her granddaughter.

One grandmother tried going to some pretty extreme lengths to get access to her granddaughter.

A mom posted on Reddit looking for advice after her in-laws made some bizarre demands regarding their granddaughter.


“I have had issue after issue with my in-laws since my baby was born. She is now 18 months,” she explained.

RELATED: Grandmother Begs Her Daughter Not To Have A Third Child — 'I Never Agreed To A Lifetime Of Raising Their Kids'

“They wanted alone time with baby, sleepovers when she was a newborn, they wanted unlimited access, visits when they wanted them, take her when they wanted to take her, control of how we parented, they wanted to monopolize our holidays, they wanted to be a part of all of baby’s firsts, and would get upset and offended if we [laid] down any boundaries,” she continued.


The mother said that she truly tried to maintain a peaceful, healthy relationship with her in-laws so her baby could be in their lives. Unfortunately, it didn’t work.

“But none of it was good enough. Every single visit, they pressured me to take her,” she said. “I told them in a text that no, they wouldn’t be taking her, and I wasn’t comfortable with it, so to stop asking.”

This text did not go over well. “An hour later, they called my husband,” she said.


“My [father-in-law] spoke first and started off put together and nice, but then got creepy and weird and demanded to know who our daughter visited with and who gets to see her,” the mom said. “My [mother-in-law] then came on screaming.”

The grandmother had much to say about her son’s wife, whom she never referred to by name.

“Your wife is trying to destroy our family just like she did with her parents,” she said. “I’m gonna send your wife’s texts to everyone.”

disapproving grandma Jupiterimages / Canva Pro


RELATED: Man Calls Out His Boomer Parents Who Never Help With Their Grandkids Despite His Dad's Parents Watching Him His Entire Childhood

Then, this mother-in-law made her final, most serious threat. “If you [choose] your wife and daughter over your mom’s feelings, you are gone to me. Done,” she told her son.

After her outbursts and threats didn’t work, this woman started a campaign against the couple. “His mom then started texting our family and friends, trying to get them on her side,” she stated.

However, within a few days, everything was normal again. The father and mother texted their son like nothing had happened, asking mundane questions about his family’s upcoming move.

@heymakylachat If you’re a toxic grandparent make some noise! 🗣️🗣️ No but seriously, try some self-reflection and inner work because parents are not obligated to put up with you or your behavior. Titles are not sealing the deal around here; healthy relationships, boundaries and loving bonds are.#motherhood #momlife #heymamachat #toxicgrandparents ♬ UH OHHH - ★ KILLA ★

These grandparents are showing significant signs of toxicity.

Fatherly spoke to therapist Natalie Capano about what makes a toxic grandparent. Capano said, “You might be in the company of a toxic grandparent if they frequently bully, judge, or ridicule you. They might purposely seek to insult you and make you uncomfortable whether they do it subtly or not.”

Fatherly also listed “sowing division” and “breeding loyalty through manipulation” as signs that you’re dealing with a toxic grandparent.

These are certainly all things that these grandparents are exhibiting, particularly the grandma. To say your son is essentially dead to you and no longer your son because he tried to step in and protect his family is taking things pretty far.


Every parent has the right to decide how their child or children will be raised. While people like grandparents can be trusted confidantes and advisors, they don’t get the final say. 

Ultimately, it isn’t their child. That’s just the reality of the situation, not something that should tear a family apart.

RELATED: Millennials Are Avoiding Having Kids Because Many Boomer Grandparents Won't Watch Their Grandchildren For Free

Mary-Faith Martinez is a writer for YourTango who covers entertainment, news, and human interest topics.