Girls Raised By Parents Who Criticized Them Regularly Usually Say 6 Things On A Near-Daily Basis
CarlosBarquero / Shutterstock Criticism isn't inherently bad. When we're growing up, our parents may give us helpful critiques on all kinds of things we're just learning to do. But while constructive feedback is important, some parents take it way too far.
If a girl grew up being raised by parents who criticized her on a regular basis, it's pretty likely that their harsh words will have a huge impact that affects her for the rest of her life. Along with other self-sabotaging behaviors, you'll hear her say some specific things almost daily that hint at the deep hurt she still carries inside her.
Girls who were raised by parents who constantly criticized them tend to say these phrases almost every day
1. "I'm so sorry"
Research shows that people who grew up with overcritical parents have difficulty trusting themselves later on in life and often adopt people-pleasing tendencies. According to a 2015 study, kids who grew up with overcritical parents may have big goals, but they may also not achieve them because they are so afraid of messing up.
Girls who grew up with critical parents often try to look perfect and apologize a lot, even when they don’t need to. They'd be better off being their authentic selves, but they learned too early on that doing so isn't safe.
2. "Are you mad at me?"
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People who grew up with overly critical parents often struggle to believe that people actually like them. Because they were so frequently on the receiving end of harsh language, they may quickly jump to believe that people are mad at them, even when they really would have no reason to be.
Women who grew up under the eye of hyper-critical parents are likely to suffer from low self-esteem. They tend to blame themselves for everything that even appears to go wrong, so it's natural for them to assume that others are blaming them too.
3. "Are you sure about that?"
Another sign that a woman grew up with harsh parents who often criticized her is that she has a tendency to critique other people in the same way. Sometimes this isn't even a conscious behavior, and she may not have any intention of hurting other people’s feelings the way hers were hurt.
However, when a girl grows up learning that it is normal to criticize someone, they will do it too. This can be a harsh lesson to learn as an adult when it isn't received well.
4. "Is this OK?"
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Growing up with critical parents can lead to hypervigilance as an adult, which is the tendency to live in fear even if you are safe. Women like this have a nervous system that is always under attack.
A girl who grew up with critical parents will probably say something like “Is this OK?” before doing something because she is so afraid of the backlash that might come if she is wrong, even when there is nothing to be afraid of.
5. "I can do it myself"
Another tendency that young girls who were constantly criticized by their parents have is hyper-independence. Although independence is commonly considered a good thing, hyperindependence is different and is often characterized as a trauma response.
Annie Tanasugarn, PhD, explains that “independence can become excessive for some who grew up experiencing a role reversal between their caregiver and themselves, which is commonly seen in narcissistic or enmeshed families.”
Hyperindependent individuals have a hard time letting others help them complete tasks or reach a specific goal in life.
6. "I don’t want to bother you"
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Girls who grew up constantly being criticized have learned to keep themselves small. They don’t want to get in anybody’s way or be a trouble to anybody.
Instead of learning that taking up space and asking for what you need in life is a good thing, they have learned not to do that. As adults, they will constantly say things like “I don’t want to bother you,” even when they aren't bothering anybody at all.
Sophie Bagheri is a writer with a bachelor’s degree in English and theatre who covers lifestyle topics.
