Photo: getty
Don't allow yourself to get to that point.
By Triffany Hammond — Written on May 31, 2018
Burnout: The process by which you work super extra hard to stay exactly where you are.
Women all over the world feel the effects of being stressed out and doing too much at both home and work while carrying more than their fair share of the emotional labor in their household.
Reinventing yourself is the answer to burnout. But what does that mean?
The odd thing about being human is that while you're actually wired for learning and growth, you're not exactly wired to enjoy it. If you’re angrily asking, "What does reinvention mean?", understand that you’re not the only person frustrated by the prospect of starting over.
Take a deep breath and read through this breakdown on what reinvention is and isn't and how to cope with stress and burnout. Open your mind to the possibility of bigger, better, and brighter.
Here are 7 steps to reinvent yourself when stress and burnout seem to be taking over your life:
1. Don't worry about completely reinventing yourself.
Reinvention doesn't mean starting over from scratch. Just like a car that went from standing still to moving, it didn't have it become an airplane. It simply had to go from using all that pent-up energy to stay in place to moving forward.
Likewise, when the pain of working hard just to keep your head above water is harder than the prospect of reinvention, you don’t have to give up being a doctor to be a lawyer. You may discover a way to translate your time management at home, into project management for your favorite non-profit though!
Get curious about what has gotten you this far and you'll experience this thing called "inspiration." Remember feeling inspired? Don't worry, you soon will.
2. Take stock of your progress so far, and find a way to use your experience to your advantage.
You’ve already created a certain level of success in your life. You're alive, right? Chances are good that you’ve put a roof over your head and food in your belly. You’ve learned some things, overcome some obstacles, and taken on quite a few major responsibilities.
Everything you’ve done up to this point has happened because of what you brought to the table. Tenacity, guts, vulnerability, compassion, community or some other quality that you’ve relied on to get you this far.
Grab a sheet of paper and make a list of your strengths and abilities. Mine the minds of your loved ones and use their experiences of you.
Not only will you see that despite feeling directionless and underwhelmed in life, you're actually quite a badass. Now start paying attention to your meandering thoughts. You're about to feel "the nudge" to go do something crazy.
3. Break out of your comfort zone.
Human beings are like the ever-expanding Universe. You are light. You are energy. Your growth is inevitable. Fight it all you want but if you don’t challenge yourself and push forward through complacency, life will do it for you.
The illusion of control makes you feel like working hard enough, long enough and positively enough means you should be able to just dial in your success and coast. Life doesn't work that way. YOU don’t work that way.
Rock your own boat before divorce, death, or downsizing does it for you. Curiosity, passion, and playfulness exist within you so that you’ll continue searching. The hunt grows and strengthens you, not the treasure.
4. Be emotionally attached to the journey, not the destination.
Culturally, you’re taught that the reward in life is the achievement itself
- Earn the ‘A'.
- Get the promotion.
- Nab "the one".
- Lose the weight.
While it’s fantastic to work hard for the next big thing, the achievement itself does little for you. The struggle toward the achievement is what helps you find your boundary then push beyond it.
The fight for the goal shows you that you’re made of more than you originally thought. You prove to yourself, over many tribulations, that you’re equipped to thrive and not merely survive.
Once you know you are capable of greater good within yourself you learn to contribute greater good to the world around you as a natural part of the reinvention process.
5. Discover levels in yourself you didn't even know you had.
The world asks you to recycle more, drive less, volunteer on the side, or eat less meat for the sake of the planet and it feels way too onerous.
"I’m having a hard time just taking care of my own problems. I can’t be responsible for the world’s problems, too."
How about a side of guilt to go with your ongoing ennui?
Make a habit of reinvention, however, all of the tools and coping mechanisms within you get stronger with every iteration of self. One little change at a time for the greater good feels doable and even natural.
Soon, you can’t even imagine yourself thinking about it any other way because, as good as you’ve got it, why wouldn't you make as many good decisions as possible for others?
Life will, at some point, put more on your plate than you believe you're prepared for. The difference this time is, you now understand how to use the abundance of resources within you to re-allocate back into your personal life.
Every tool you have is honed and ready to do business, too, because you’ve built them up and mastered them.
6. Use change and upset to your advantage.
Pain is inevitable. Suffering is a choice. There will always be upsets in life. You’re mortal and your life is interdependent with the lives of others. That means that illness, occupational changes, and goodbyes will always be a part of your human experience. Pain is inevitable.
When you try to cling to "what was" instead of embrace "what is", you will lose the battle. You will also deny yourself the fullest possible growth within yourself. In addition, because you cling to what "shouldn't" have happened or the "unfairness" of it all, you create a victimhood habit and belief.
When you believe you are the good guy and the world is the bad guy you wind up weakening instead of strengthening. Over time, even feeling content with what you have feels impossible, let alone daring to be happy.
You opted to stand still (or tried to) instead of treating life’s changing circumstances as opportunities. Suffering is a choice.
The pain inherent in life’s hardships doesn't preclude the utility within the same experience. When things go awry, seize the opportunity to practice everything you wrote down on your strengths list.
7. Make the decision to "and" — not "but" — when you get the feels.
You can:
- Love your kids AND what more time with your friends.
- Be grateful for your job AND want something new or more meaningful.
- Grieve a loss AND smile about the future.
The moment you make space for both, seemingly opposite, experiences is the moment you create the bandwidth to take action on any inspiration that comes along.
Any story you have in your head about what you should and shouldn't feel is exactly that — a story. Not only is it based on partial fiction it is malleable.
You can change your story. Be so glad that you have your steady paycheck, for instance, AND decide to write that book, go back to school or start a business of your own.
In fact, the positive feeling inherent in true gratitude acts as fuel for your new endeavor. What do you think the guilt of feeling like your job should be good enough does to your energy reserves?
The next time you feel burned out, fed up, bored, and overwhelmed all at the same time, remember that you're simply being called to do more with your inherent gifts:
- Start from right where you are.
- Fully own the strengths you’ve already developed.
- Accept, embrace and embark on change (before life does it for you).
- Focus on the joys of the journey.
- Observe yourself as you grow and give yourself credit along the way.
- Surrender to change that you didn't initiate.
- Allow yourself to fully experience your life without guilt.
Reinvention is, as the name implies, an iterative process. Embark on the path toward the stronger and more fierce you at your own speed, in your own way.
Triffany Hammond is a certified professional life coach who helps strong women tame their inner hot mess. Triggered by the possibility of taking on more when you're already overwhelmed? Download The Squeeze right now to help you manage any anxiety that crops up or contact contact Triffany for a free consultation.
This article was originally published at Triffany Hammond, LLC. Reprinted with permission from the author.